chew on this

Adios, JoPa

2011-11-09T22:41:00.002-05:00

What separates the good from the great is going above and beyond the required...required by your job, the law, etc. I am not surprised that Joe Paterno has been fired. Simply doing his "job" and reporting alleged crimes to his boss was not enough. Surely, a man who strives for excellence on the field would realize that this is also the case off the field, particularly when such a vulnerable group of young people was in the center of the allegations. Haven't we been told since our youth that doing the right thing is not always easy? You may like the man as a coach, and even a person, but please don't defend his actions in this case. I would like to hear some of those rallying behind his decision to simply "report to the AD" as correct defend their position to the alleged victims and their parents.

Crunch time

2010-11-23T22:27:00.002-05:00

When we decided to get married in December, I knew it would be busy, but things are getting crazy! While I am feeling very busy, stressed, and often running on little rest, I am trying not to complain (sometimes successfully...). The difficulty is that my teaching responsibilities, grad class, and wedding will all culminate during the same week! Let's just say the honeymoon will be greatly appreciated!

1/2 marathon - check!

2010-10-17T22:25:00.003-04:00

Today, I ran my first 1/2 marathon! I am tired and very sore, but it was totally worth it. I ran with 37 other runners/walkers in the half and full marathon events. Together, we finished our races and also raised over $55,000 for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society! It is a great feeling to be giving go a great cause while also working toward a personal goal. Thanks to everyone for their love, prayers, and support. Until last May, I had never run more than a 5K, now I can say I have run 13.1 miles! Pretty amazing. :)

I reached my goal!

2010-07-29T21:33:00.003-04:00

Wow! So I actually surpassed my goal of raising $1250 for the LLS, and once my last 2 checks clear, I will have raised $1290!!! I am so overwhelmed by the generosity and support I have received from friends and family. Through close friends, family members, anonymous donors, college acquaintances, or even pop can collections, it all came together in a short 2 month span! Of course, I will still be collecting money until mid-September, but it feels great to know that I have reached my goal! It seemed very daunting at first, and I am just amazed by God's faithfulness and provision.

Kyle is still raising money for his run, so if you are interested in giving generously to the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society, click here!

thank you

2010-07-26T23:47:00.003-04:00

I don't know how many people actually read this (I have an idea from my feed, but that's all), but I want to say THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart. I am so encouraged by the generosity and support friends and family have shown me as I work toward my goal of running and raising money for the LLS. I have already raised 95% of my goal, and it has not even been 2 months! Thank you so much if you are reading this and have contributed. Even if you haven't contributed, I thank you for your prayers and support.

Last weekend I also had an encouraging training session...I ran 9 miles in about an hour and a half! 10 minute miles are not fast, but just being able to keep running and to run that far and still feel good was great. Last night I ran a slow 8 miles, but I am so thankful for injury-free training and that I am seeing progress in my endurance. This weekend I am running the Coast Guard 10K in Grand Haven with my friend and bridesmaid Kate (and with Kyle, but not really with him because he will be smoking by everyone). I am looking forward to a good run and another milestone as I complete my first official 10K race.

http://pages.teamintraining.org/mi/GrdRpd10/mdecorte

giving

2010-07-16T11:09:00.002-04:00

As I continue in my endeavor with Team in Training and the LLS, it has really made me consider my own giving. There is something humbling about asking people for money -- whether it is for yourself or to give to someone else. While I know that all $1250 (or more!) that I earn will go directly to The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society, it is still hard to ask people directly for money. Money is so precious to people, and we tend to cling tightly to it once it is in our possession. In general, most of us still tend to spend it on things that are not incredibly meaningful or necessary...Just this week alone I spent $5 on lunch when I could have packed my own, $4 on a milkshake when I could have skipped it, $8 on Starbucks treats, $5 on fancy lotion, and now lots of dollars on a honeymoon (which almost goes into the necessary category ;) ). However, when it comes to giving, I don't always give as generously as I spend on myself. I am far more reluctant to hand over money when there isn't something tangible I am getting in return. I am more likely to ignore requests from charities, church, and individuals who need it so I don't have to feel bad when I am not tithing enough. I pray that through this experience God continues to teach me what it means to give with a generous heart.

With those thoughts in mind, I am even more grateful to those who have kindly blessed me and the LLS with their generosity throughout this process. With only $130 more dollars, I will meet my goal of $1250 in just a few short months.

Thank you!

HOT!

2010-07-06T16:46:00.003-04:00

So, it's pretty hot outside...which means if I resist my alarm for my early-morning runs, I have to wait until right before bed to get my miles in...it is really a battle of heat v. sleep every morning! I was suppose to run 6 miles on Saturday, but because I waited to late in the day, I only did 5 again, and that was with a few minutes of walking. It stinks to feel like I'm not making progress, but I know I need to learn about my body's limits.

I am continually encouraged by the generosity of my family and friends. I have received donations here and there from people when I least expect it, and I am so grateful! I am still hoping to line up some fundraisers with local businesses, but it's amazing to see people step up and help out such a great cause. I find it difficult to ask people for money, but I have to remember that it is not for me, but a greater cause that truly does affect so many of us.

Sometimes the miles and dollars all seem daunting, but I know I can do it with baby steps. When I break it down, I know that if people even donated as much as a cup of coffee or a few gallons of gas, it would all add up eventually. If you are reading this, please consider clicking here to make a donation, big or small. Every little bit helps fight blood cancers like Leukemia & Lymphoma.

God Bless,

Melissa

5 mile mark!

2010-06-28T13:36:00.002-04:00

Well, I am about a month into my training, and last week I ran 5 miles for the first time ever! It felt like a big milestone to me, especially because it was BLAZING hot outside. I was super slow (think snails, turtles, molasses in the winter), but I did it, and without stopping.

So many people have generously donated to LLS on my behalf to support my run, and I am incredibly grateful. Every little bit helps, and I appreciate anyone who is even reading this for taking interest in this cause.

I did a (tiny) swim workout today to change things up, and it felt good! Hopefully I can keep progressing with my running. Once some checks get posted, I think I will be at about $579.00 raised -- almost half of my goal!

I hope you are all well and enjoying the summer sunshine. I am grateful today for good friends & family, lots of support, and beautiful blue skies. :) Take care.

Team In Training

2010-06-01T17:33:00.001-04:00

I decided to run a half marathon and raise money for The Leukemia and Lymphoma Society. Feel free to check here for more updates. Thanks!

25!

2010-05-03T22:28:00.002-04:00

Friday was my 25th birthday! So that's exciting. Just thought I should update with something. I'm not feeling inspired to share much lately, so that will be all for now.

Why Don't Ask Don't Tell is bad policy...

2010-02-04T21:39:00.002-05:00

While I love a good debate/argument, I have tried in recent years to stay out of political debates. I find they fire me up to a point where I might not be nice, I get frustrated, and it's just not good for my health in general. However, I read a blog post that fired me up a little bit about the possible repeal of DADT for US military personnel.

I personally think DADT is a bad policy. Regardless of what one thinks about homosexuality in general, the policy discriminates. Many of the arguments to keep DADT include rhetoric about needing new shower and sleeping facilities, heterosexual military personnel's personal comfort, "requiring" people to disclose their orientation, or new bathroom facilities. I think this is all bologna!

1. If I as a heterosexual individual can share information about my significant others, yet a person who has a partner of the same sex cannot, that is an inequality that needs to be addressed. If, as Joan E. Darrah experienced, one could possibly give up his or her life for this country, yet his/her partner would not even be notified or supported by the military in that instance, there is a problem!

2. People who are gay are not trying to indoctrinate people who aren't! I would assume most people, gay or otherwise, simply want to be able to be their true selves in all areas of life. I can't imagine the anxiety one must feel when they need to compartmentalize aspects of life in fear of being discharged/fired. How ridiculous. Crazy to think that if I talked about my boyfriend, had his picture up, sent him emails that got read by my C.O., etc., I could be discharged -- even if I have the same skill set, motivation, and desire to serve my country. Hmm...

3. Finally, why would we need new facilities for sleeping, showering, using the bathroom? I don't personally believe there would be a problem with homosexual personnel viewing their peers as simply objects of sexual arousal! Do we need to segregate the armed forces further so officers in training or new recruits aren't distracted by their peers of the opposite sex? Shouldn't we demand PROFESSIONALISM from all people in the armed forces, not silence?

I can't imagine how difficult it is for many people who have to come out, let alone come out only to be shut back in the closet by the very institution that probably defines much of who they are, or at least their daily activities and interaction. We should allow people to disclose what they would want, as long as they are professional, regardless of sexual orientation.

Yay, 2010! and other things...

2010-01-02T16:32:00.002-05:00

Happy 2010. :) I was just thinking how strange that number looks...I wonder what people thought the world would be like in 2010. I remember being young and thinking people were funny for talking about 8 tracks or how records were obsolete...someday my children and their friends won't know what a VHS, cassette tape, or maybe even a CD are. They will grow up in a world of mp3s, Blu Rays, and DVDs. The other day, I saw a man at Noodles & Company reading from a Kindle. I wonder why these things haven't cought on, while at the same time, I don't really wonder at all. For all the eco-talk about going green, people just don't want to give up books. Even though Kindles would save a lot of paper, they just aren't cozy like books are. Who wants to snuggle up with hot cocoa and a blanket on a rainy day with a Kindle? I don't. I would rather cuddle up with my dog-eared copy of my favorite novel. It just isn't the same. People weren't so sad to give up CDs for mp3s because they are convenient, but Kindle just doesn't have the same convenience factor, at least from what I can see. Anyone out there have one and like it? Is it worth the money? I just can't see myself converting.

I am still trying to nail down spring break plans...ranging anywhere from Colorado to Peru to Spain...mostly based on cost and availability of friends and relatives in those places. More to come...Happy New Year!

Loose Ends

2009-12-14T22:11:00.002-05:00

I really appreciate closure in my life. I love the period at the end of a great sentence in chapters of my life. Tonight I finished my first grad class in my Masters program. Success. On Friday I will finish the first semester for the school year. Woot. It just feels good to have a sense of completion and to be ready for a fresh start after the holidays. I appreciate that my school has chosen to do final exams before break. I think it is healthier for students and staff as we finish our semester, enjoy break, and come back (hopefully refreshed) to start anew. I am looking forward to the challenge of two graduate courses next semester. I re-learned time management (maybe unsuccessfully...) this semester, and I am determined to be better with the next round. It feels good to be tying up loose ends and to gear up for the next chapter. :)

Advent and other updates...

2009-12-09T12:13:00.002-05:00

There is nothing like a snow day. Even the most work-obsessed and schedule-oriented of students and teachers can appreciate a day that keeps one snowed-in with extra hours of sleep and cups of hot cocoa to accompany rosy cheeks after shoveling the driveway. Today has given me the blessing of extra hours to...work! I really need to catch up on writing my final exams, writing report card comments, and finishing a final project for my graduate class.

I also wanted to spend a few minutes reflecting on the past year or so. In this Advent season of waiting, I have become acutely aware of the tension of waiting and feeling discontent with certain areas of my life. Not that I am in general in a state of discontent, but I am having trouble being patient and seeing the "big picture." I think I have always been a detailed person, able to get lost for hours doing things like organizing my closet or struggling for the perfect synonym in my research paper when I really don't know what the point of the paper is as a whole.
Anyway, I digress. I am grateful for a God who is in the details, but also for a God that has a big picture plan for me that I cannot even begin to comprehend. Sometimes I get frustrated because there are parts of my life I don't understand, choices I don't want to make, and ways in which I feel unsettled. However, these struggles are imperative in order for me to fulfill the big picture plan, whatever that may be. However these "details" end up, no matter what their role may be in the overall scheme of things, the tension and unrest I feel now will certainly be worth it, of that I am sure. :)

I also scanned my bucket list/resolution postings from the past couple years, and I have completed another item! This past month I was able to donate my hair to Pantene Beautiful Lengths! I have been excited to do this for awhile, and when I discovered I had 8 inches, I decided it was now or never.

Praying especially for those who are cold and hungry this winter...puts all that unresolved tension in perspective...

Best month ever!

2009-09-08T22:40:00.002-04:00

September is probably my favorite month of the year. I like that the weather is still mild, but the air starts to get just enough of a chill that I can start wearing sweaters and jackets. I love when the first leaves start to turn like little flames at the tops of the trees and the smells from these same leaves when they finally start to fall! Really, I just love autumn, and that starts in September. :)

I think it's awesome how God can speak to different people in such unique ways. When I am going on a walk in the woods or on MSU's beautiful campus in September, for example, all I can think about is how beautiful creation is and about all of the detail that went into every intricate thing I see and experience. That's how I feel about music, too. It amazes me to think about how music "works;" how different instruments blend and voices harmonize and how a song can change someone's mood or feelings. I love that music is connected to math and that harmonies sounds so wonderful for specific reasons...basically I am a dork. I don't know enough about music theory to get into it, but when I start thinking about it, it amazes me that MATH exists and "works" the way it does...

Coming Soon: More updates on a regular basis. (I just have a hunch, considering the massive amounts of work I have to do and the resulting amount of procrastinating I will do.)

Peace!

"God-incidences"

2009-08-06T17:21:00.003-04:00

Many people believe that nothing in life is a coincidence. I can't count how many times I have heard someone say, "Everything happens for a reason." While I have my own detailed opinion on that, I will say that last week I was reminded of how God has this "knack" for placing people in my life a just the right time or placing me exactly where I need to be at the right moment. I don't fully understand it, but I wanted to share.

First of all, never underestimate the power of strangers in your life. I met some of the nicest people in airports and on planes last week. They were super eager not only to chat and get to know me, but to help me as I tried to get from Point A to Point B. After getting through a security breach, flight delay, and groundstop, the girl sitting next to me offered to use her iPod Touch to check my flight's status and to see which other flights were available if I were to need them. It was comforting to feel I had a friend or at least an ally sitting next to me.

When my taxi was 20 minutes late after 2 frantic phone calls, a stranger in my hotel lobby offered to drive me where I needed to go...and this is after I secured an umbrella with no questioned asked from a nice hotel employee.

Even after losing my phone in Nashville, I can't complain about that place because every person I have contacted to find out about retrieving the phone has been uber friendly and sweet.

It is said that when entertaining strangers one is entertaining angels, and I believe it. Cheesy, but so true when you step back and look at all the little "God-incidences" in your life, cheesy as that may seem.

Saturday Night

2009-07-27T11:34:00.002-04:00

My friend's mom is also a teacher, and she told me a few weeks ago that summer is like the weekend...June is Friday, July is Saturday, and August is Sunday. It is almost the end of July now, so I feel like it is Saturday night! Time to cram in all the fun I can before "Sunday" arrives and it is time to start looking to the upcoming school year. This week I am excited to see some friends and then to fly down to AL for OTS/COT festivities...then road trip back from AL to MI. The only time I have been to Alabama was for Spring Break my senior year of high school when I went to Gulf Shores with some friends. I am excited to see a new part of the state, and I am excited to see Nashville on our way home; I have never been there. Suggestions?

swagbucks

2009-07-10T15:26:00.002-04:00

So, my friend Laura told me about a new search engine called "swagbucks." I decided to give it a try and signed up.

By using the search engine, you can win "swagbucks," which you can later redeem for prizes, including music downloads, gift cards, and more. While I haven't accrued enough swagbucks to redeem yet, I am all for getting free things for using a search engine. Curious? Click below:

Victory and Triumph

2009-06-05T21:30:00.003-04:00

I had a quote taped above my desk all year: "It's not about survival; it's about VICTORY and TRIUMPH." I stole this from a sermon I heard one of the first weeks into this school year and found it fitting for a first-year teacher. So often people would remind me that the first year is "all about survival" or "treading water" rather than doing everything I possibly could. While I understand that mentality, I am not just a "survivor." I want more than that; I want to triumph and victor over challenges. I feel that even though it is cheesy, I did it! I more-than-survived my first year of teaching. Today, I even got a little emotional saying goodbye to some of my students. I will really miss these kids, and while my future employment is currently slightly uncertain, I would be sad not to see them next year.

I know I couldn't have had such a successful year without the support of my fellow teachers, administrators, secretaries, and of course, my other teaching colleagues from MSU, friends, and family. I feel my first year wasn't nearly as bad as the horror stories I have heard, and I believe a lot of that is due to God putting some pretty amazing people in my life to keep me sane. I found this quote on my own blog from last August after I got my job: "I just feel blessed today that I can look back at all the frustration, rejection, and disappointment and know that I am going where I am supposed to be." It is such a comfort to read that as I go into the summer with new hopes and goals and as I look toward some possible changes for the next school year. How amazing to know a loving Creator who makes sure each of us is exactly where we need to be?

I leave for Costa Rica on Sunday w/ 3 other adults and 12 students. If you read this, please pray for our safety and for a fun and educational trip. It is officially summer vacation! Don't forget your sunscreen.

Discernment

2009-05-27T23:53:00.003-04:00

Sometimes when I hear little whispers of doubt or nudges to move in a new direction, I struggle with knowing whether my hesitation comes from simply my own resistance to change and challenges or if those doubts and that resistance are coming from somewhere bigger? How can I know the source of this resistance? Is it coming from Someone who is trying to keep me on a different path or coming from something darker trying to steal my joy?

Monday

2009-05-18T23:46:00.002-04:00

Well, today is Monday. Only one more Monday school day left this year...CRAZY! Even with that wonderful prospect, today was a little bit sucky, but I have resolved to list positive things about today:

1. It was beautiful outside.
2. My car NO LONGER SQUEAKS. People will no longer have a reason to turn and stare at my car as it rolls by (unless I am looking fabulous in the driver's seat, of course).
3. I had dinner w/ Heidi tonight on her visit from Seattle.
4. Someone amazing gave me an Alabama Helen Keller quarter.
5. One of my 7th graders asked me a question about her quiz and correctly referred to a definite article. My work here is done.
6. Heard a new DMB song on the radio tonight...got a li'l excited about the new album.
7. Had a nice phone conversation with a good friend.
8. While my car did not start easily this morning, it DID start in between buildings, meaning I did not have to walk a mile with all of my belongings on my back like a nomad.

Mother's Day

2009-05-11T22:41:00.006-04:00

In the spirit of yesterday being Mother's Day, I wanted to write a post about...motherhood. :) Yesterday, I was blessed to spend the day with my mom and her mom, among some other family members. It was overall a really fun day, and great to see everyone. However, it was really special to have my grandma around for another Mother's Day. Last fall, my grandma fell ill and we weren't sure for how much longer she'd be around. But! Grandma is a fighter, and not only has fully recovered, but celebrated another birthday last month. It was great to see her and hug her yesterday. This woman's outlook on life seems to have changed a lot since last fall, and it's great to see her relaxed and smiling. My grandma is a fun lady, and I'm pretty sure any dirty jokes I tell or silliness I exhibit trickled down the family tree from her branch...
As a cheesy ode to all moms out there, how about going old school and taking a stroll down memory lane to Boyz II Men's "A Song for Mama."
And finally, for other mother figures in our lives, a great Mitch Albom piece about your best friend's mom: "When she's not really your mom -- but she's close."

Happy belated Mother's Day to all the mamacitas out there. And I guess I didn't really write about motherhood, but hey, what do I know? The only kids I have are other people's, and I have them for only an hour per day. ;)

Voki

2009-05-06T23:01:00.001-04:00

I have been playing around with ideas for my students to use in class, and here is a practice Voki I made of myself...not with my voice this time.

Get a Voki now!

Bucket List 2.0

2009-04-14T17:29:00.002-04:00

Last year, I launched the beta version of my bucket list (posted 5/22/08):

1. Go back to school.

2. Travel to (but not limited to): South Africa, Greece, Japan, South America (Peru, Ecuador, Argentina, Chile), Mexico, Hawaii, Alaska.

3. Run a 5K and a 10K (I thought about typing a marathon, but I can't even get myself to train for local 5Ks...)

4. Do musical theater, or at least try out for a production.

5. Learn a 3rd language (French? Italian? German? Chinese?).

Now, I can say that I completed one of those 5 items (running a 5K), and I am working on 2 more...traveling to Costa Rica in June with students and hopefully starting grad classes in August to work toward my Masters...

There are so many other random things I want to add to my list; here are a few off the top of my head...

6. Donate my hair to Locks of Love

7. Live in another state

8. REALLY learn how to play my guitar

9. Record a song with my brother

10. Create and bottle a wine

11. Get some piece of writing published

I think that is a good enough addition for now. ;)

car rides

2009-03-12T00:25:00.002-04:00

Here I am at 12:25 a.m. on a school night writing in my blog...why? Because I love long car rides and conversations. I am a talker. I know, big shocker there. But. I have always loved talking with people on long car rides. Tonight my dad and I drove up to Gaylord and back to watch my little brother play in the state quarterfinals for high school hockey. The best part of the whole night, besides getting a hug from my brother, was the chat in the car w/ my dad. It reminded me so much of nights he would drive me home from dance class in junior high and high school and we could just talk about life. I love my dad's perspective on life and hearing his opinions. Even when little spats or "heated debates" stem from our talks, I (almost) always enjoy them. I have just had some really nice talks on long car rides this week and felt like sharing. :) Also, praise the Lord for making it through snow squalls up north and white-knuckled driving. I *love* unpredictable Michigan weather. ;)

2009-03-01T21:16:00.001-05:00

I am loving these songs right now:

Paczkis

2009-02-23T17:31:00.004-05:00

Today I ate 2.5 Paczkis...and it's only 5:47 p.m. I also may or may not have eaten one last night...

Oy!

Happy FAT Tuesday!

pennies

2009-02-10T22:27:00.004-05:00

As I left my apartment complex for work today, I was already in a good mood because of the fresh, spring-like air. Temps in EL were hovering around 60 degrees Fahrenheit for most of the day! As I scanned my favorite radio stations for a good tune to keep me company on my 7-minute commute, the Go-Go's "We Got the Beat" came on. While I am not in general a fan of the song, it reminds me of my JV cheerleading coach and class sponsor, Penny DeHaan. Penny died 7 years ago...on February 9 (at least that is the date in my head). Since today was February 10, it especially resonated with me this morning, hearing her song a day after the anniversary of her death. I had a big smile on my face as I pictured her performing "We Got the Beat" with other teachers in the school's lip-sync program a couple months before she died.

Pennies have taken on a special significance in my life as of late, so this also put a smile on my face. For the short version, let me just share that I feel like God has been placing pennies in my life at "weird" times, and they just give me (in a way I know sounds crazy) a strange sense of validation and peace, and as a friend told me, even though they are small and alone seem insignificant, God is in the details.

So, here's to Penny, and to all the "pennies" in our lives that remind us that while we are small and may feel insignificant, we are valued and loved.

haha

2009-02-04T17:43:00.001-05:00

So I don't really want this on facebook, but I figured I could re-post here for now. It seems very self-centered that everybody is posting "25 things about me," but it was, I have to admit, kind of fun and challenging to think of what I would share about myself...

1. I have a pretty fantastic memory. I actually wrote this note a couple days ago, deleted it, and managed to remember all of my original 25 random things.

2. I'm incredibly indecisive. I agonize over all decisions, big and small. However, once I make a decision, I stick to it. So actually, maybe that makes me decisive but "methodical." I can't decide...;)

3. I love to dance. I took formal dance lessons for 15 years, and I miss it.

4. I have a favorite constellation: Orion. I have liked astronomy since I was little, and even had a place mat and a lunch box with all the constellations on them.

5. I taught myself to play guitar. I am pretty terrible.

6. I generally dislike chick flicks and romance novels. I think they are annoying and unrealistic.

7. I like to argue.

8. I would love to perform on Broadway or sing with a band. Just once.

9. I have been to all but 12 of the 50 states in the USA.

10. I have never been to Cedar Point, which usually manages to surprise and/or sadden people. I'm okay with it.

11. I enjoy trying new things and being active, but I get frustrated when I lack the necessary skills for these activities (if you have ever been bowling, mini-golfing, or played almost any competitive sport with me, you probably know this).

12. The only significant injury I've really had was incurred when I hit the ceiling during a cheerleading practice my sophomore year of high school and had to get stitches on my head.

13. I'm vocal about my disdain for country music, but I secretly really enjoy bluegrass music.

14. However, I love cheesy 80s music...Madonna, Michael Jackson, Tears for Fears, you name it.

15. I had/have braces (twice), headgear, a back brace, glasses, and contacts. You could call me a mess or the Bionic Woman.

16. I tend to break nice technology...laptops, digital cameras, iPods, cell phones...I am a wee bit accident prone.

17. I don't really like chocolate that much. I'd rather eat fruit desserts than chocolate. But, I do love peanut butter by the spoonful.

18. I pronounce all of the syllables in the word "comfortable."

19. I want to become proficient in at least one more language besides English and Spanish. I'm thinking French or maybe German, but I think Portuguese and Italian are beautiful.

20. Um, I really love food.

21.I think music is best when played live in concert.

22. I wanted to be a doctor until I got to college and realized how many options I had (see number 2). Now I am a teacher, and I feel like I have no idea how this happened, but it's fun and incredibly challenging.

23. When I was little I wrote novels and really believed one day I'd be a famous (wealthy) author. I found and read some of them recently; there is no chance for my literary career.

24. I am not good at multi-tasking.

25. I sometimes snort when I laugh. It's hereditary.

Bless your heart if you just read this whole thing.

incredible

2009-01-25T11:51:00.002-05:00

I saw this video on Emily's blog (EVG, I'm stealing from you), and it moved me to tears. I wanted to share it with anyone who reads my blog. I think it offers incredible perspective and reveals much of not only how we can be thankful for blessings, but how to love.

natural high

2009-01-21T17:31:00.002-05:00

I get such a thrill out of being organized and accomplishing things on my "list," it's kind of disgusting. This year I really haven't felt myself...my classroom has not been the most organized, I have stacks of paper EVERYWHERE, I cannot keep up with grades, I lose things...it's just crazy. However, with the start of a new semester, I have felt motivated to become more organized. I am finding proper places for things, labeling my classroom, recycling and throwing things away that need to be disposed of, etc. Let me tell you: it feels good. I also just love the feeling of crossing something off of my list. It just provides a visual reminder of how productive I was, which doesn't always happen. On that note, I am going to go do some planning and grading so I can relax tonight during dinner and LOST. :)

watching history unfold

2009-01-20T17:00:00.003-05:00

I guess that title is kind of stupid, because every moment that transpires will become "history." However, I was a bit in awe today as I watched the inauguration ceremony and surrounding festivities. I let my classes today watch while they worked on some very unimportant assignments, hoping they would watch and appreciate seeing this important moment in U.S. history. When I think of the times my teachers let me listen to the radio or watch the news in class, usually it was for negative things...the O.J. Simpson trial verdict, the Columbine shooting, and September 11 attacks, for example. It was pretty amazing to watch 2 million Americans in D.C. today during the inauguration, and I hope someday my students will remember watching it in class.

"Change"

2009-01-20T06:26:00.003-05:00

Today "change" is the big word all over the U.S....and I think probably in many places of the world as they watch President Obama become inaugurated. I have to say, it is an exciting time, and especially after celebrating MLK, Jr. Day yesterday, it is pretty amazing to see him sworn in today.

I just pray that President Obama is able to see through to fruition many of the promises he made to those who elected him (I say many because there are some things that scare me, but I won't get into it). I think he does have a clear vision for positive change in our nation, and I just hope that he finds ways to make those changes happen. Our words are powerful, but our actions stronger. I hate when I see couples who say "I love you," over and over, but treat each other like crap. Words are strong and mean a lot, but only when supported by the proper actions behind the words. So, here's to our new president, may he be safe, strong, and supported.

Wanderlust

2009-01-07T23:13:00.002-05:00

I have been thinking about my travels this past summer to France and Germany, and my likely travels in June to Costa Rica, and it gets me excited to travel more...I think God just infused me with a large amount of wanderlust. There are so many places I want to visit. One of my favorite classes in college was World Geography. There were not many places that did not capture my interest and make me envision a vacation or even a stint living there. I would love one of those maps with little pins that show places I've been and places I want to go...although I fear the places I want to visit would take over the map in its entirety.

In this spirit, I feel like reflecting on some of my favorite corners of the world, at least based on my actual travels thus far. I will do a top 10, David Letterman style, to the best of my ability. I suck at decisions, so I'm sure this won't be accurate.

10. West Michigan, USA: I was going to say just Traverse City, but what I love about that area can be generalized to what I love about where I grew up. I love the proximity to Lake Michigan with its beaches and sand dunes and fun towns like Grand Haven, Holland, and South Haven. I love the wine country that weaves through Old Mission and Leelanau Peninsulae. I enjoy that only a few miles out of a city like Grand Rapids there are still farms and muckfields. I enjoy the lighthouses and piers and of course the beautiful lake effect snow that seems to be constant for almost half the year. I love the boldness of the 4 seasons.
9. Washington, D.C.: As a kid, this was my favorite vacation. We loved it so much my parents took us there 3 times. There is so much U.S. history to be found here, not only in the city but the surrounding areas. Mini-trips to Mount Vernon, Monticello, Colonial Williamsburg, and Shenandoah National Park were also highlights.
8. New York City, NY, USA: I am so glad that my days in NYC were spent working in the Bronx. I feel I was able to see a different side of this amazing place. The people of New York are so diverse yet all so spirited. I loved the feeling of walking the streets of Manhattan, and I don't think much can compare to the view from the top of the Empire State Building. This was truly a sight that caused cityscapes to rival mountains. I feel compelled to share that I have an almost equal love for the city of Chicago, which is truly more my style than New York, and while beautiful, cannot compare to the grandeur of NYC.
7. Paris: Paris truly is an amazing, romantic city. Being atop the Eiffel Tour and singing hymns in Notre Dame are things I know will never be rivaled.
6. Spain: Living here changed me for sure. Santander is a city that will always be special to me. Where else could I have spent my days on the beach, afternoons shopping in the city, evenings drinking sangria and calimochos en la plaza, and madrugadas dancing at BHengala?
5. Germany: I loved everything about this country, even the little pockets I was blessed to enjoy. The people, language, food, flavor. I truly appreciate the Germans' love for efficiency and conservation.
4. Rome, Italy, Europe: Beautiful city with a wonderful culture, delicious food, rich history, and lovely language. I love the juxtaposition (yes! love that word, too) of ancient and modern.
3. Grand Tetons, Wyoming, USA: When I drove through this area of the country I said to myself that I wanted to live near mountains someday.
2. Pictured Rocks National Lakeshore, Upper Peninsula, MI, USA: I just love the U.P., and really, the state of Michigan in general. I love that in our state we have beautiful lakes, sand dunes, little mountains, waterfalls, rivers abundant with fish, the Mackinac Bridge, etc. This lakeshore is gorgeous, and offers to many unique outdoors activities.
1. Little Devil's Tower, Black Hills, SD, USA: The most beautiful hike I have ever been on in my life. More words won't suffice.

Of course, as a bonus, I love MSU's campus more than anything...mostly because that is where I truly feel I grew up, and there are so many poignant memories from this region. I think once I don't live in EL anymore I will really begin to appreciate the banks of the Red Cedar more than I do now. The Red Cedar River, Beaumont Tower, Spartan Stadium, and of course MSU Library will always be special to me.

reading

2008-12-30T01:01:00.003-05:00

I realized today that this is probably the first significant break I've had in a very long time during which I did not take a trip to the library. This makes me sad. I actually had a couple books at my apartment which I was hoping to spend time time reading...Cien Sonetos de Amor, which I have been piecing through for awhile, and The House on Mango Street, which I have started several times but never quiet made it through. I also still have my huge book list, which could always use a little chipping away. The last novel I read for fun (The Other Boleyn Girl) was finished in September...eek. The only real reading suggestion I've had since then is "Twilight," which I just don't have the energy to start. I think I would find it incredibly annoying or extremely captivating, and then I'd be stuck reading another series. I will just get the summaries from all the tweenies I teach. For the first time(s) in my life, in the past year there were several books I started and did not finish (which irritates me to this day). I started Lolita, A Tree Grows in Brooklyn, and The Hobbit, and didn't quite finish any of them. Mostly due to a combination of lack of time along with not being able to extend renewals from the biblioteca.

For fun: http://www.redpoppy.net/pablo_neruda_poems.php
20 from "Veinte poemas..." and 17 from "Cien Sonetos..." are two of my favorites.

Proving I'm not a Scrooge...

2008-12-23T22:23:00.002-05:00

Okay, I was feeling guilty that every time a Christmas tune came on the radio, I changed the channel (with few exceptions). So, I'm going to take a couple minutes to list some favorite things about this holiday season...

In no particular order:

1. Holiday movies - Home Alone, Charlie Brown Christmas, Love Actually, Christmas Vacation, Elf...there are so many good ones. Notice I even included a chick flick for sappy holiday fun.

2. Christmas Songs: O Holy Night, What Child is This?, Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree, Silent Night, The Nutcracker Suite, This Christmas, The First Noel, and the ever-classic All I Want for Christmas is You. ;)

3. Christmas trees. From little Charlie Brown trees to the one at Rockefeller Center in NYC...they are just beautiful and nostalgic.

4. Snowflakes. Big, soft, slow-falling snowflakes at nighttime. :)

5. The Giving Spirit...people are just nicer.

6. Mistletoe! ;)

7. Christmas cookies. Even though I am not a big sweets person, it's tradition.

I started typing things I don't like but remembered the intended nature of the post. Merry Christmas!

Merry (early) Christmas!

2008-12-23T22:15:00.003-05:00

Today I was completely snowed in...started out the day lazy in pajamas watching "Mamma Mia," used the snow blower on the driveway (which I actually really enjoy doing) all suited up in a snowsuit, and proceeded to nap for the majority of the afternoon. I realized that even though I complain a lot about being "busy" and not having "me" time during the work week, I am not so good at being still when I do have time. Instead, I end up squandering it, which is kind of annoying, but I guess I have a couple weeks to perfect "being on break." ;) Whatever that is. The words of a perfectionist.

Tomorrow morning we are leaving (too) early for metro-D to see the family. I always anticipate this with excitement. Big families are incredibly fun, but also sometimes overwhelming and dramatic. I'm praying for safe travels and quality time together.

It's an amazing feeling to have 2 entire weeks to spend with friends and family as I have reached the mid-point of my first year of teaching. I already feel refreshed. Wishing everyone a Happy Christmas; thinking about those who are cold and hungry; praying they are safe and taken care of.

Love, Peace, and Hugs.

A Matter of Trust

2008-12-11T22:34:00.002-05:00

Last summer I was freaking out about where I would be working and in what capacity...I turned down two formal job offers and remained jobless until August 12...while I had previously envisioned myself somewhere out West, working for a year or so and heading back to school. Instead I am back in East Lansing, MI. While I did not get the adventure I sought by moving far from home all by myself, I can be confident that God has me exactly where I am supposed to be at this moment in time. Being a control freak, I have always struggled with truly resting in God's peace and trusting in His perfect plan and perfect timing (I just love being in charge...hello, I am a teacher). I constantly want to just KNOW what is going to happen, when, how, where, why, etc. However, in the past year I really feel God cultivated a new patience in me that allowed me to just trust what I was feeling, and that led me back to EL for this year. Staying in Michigan has been its own adventure, bringing me back to a familiar environment but in completely new circumstances, and not without some amazing surprises. Being here also allowed me to be close to my family when my grandma was sick, and to spend quality time with her to be physically present to help support my grandpa, for which I am grateful. I know I will especially value this opportunity in the future as well, along with the summer during which they were my roomies!

Even when days are long and the work seems endless, I can be grateful for so many things...not only can but am called to give thanks...for my family, friends, my job, my students, and the peace of knowing I am loved unconditionally and taken care of.

Can I just add that I totally completed one of the items on my "bucket list" from last spring...which means I now have to start working on another...either traveling, learning a 3rd language, or running a 10 K (school is not an option right now). Traveling to Costa Rica in June...so it looks like running or conjugating verbs...thankfully Claudia is helping me learn German! ;) I'm also thinking that perfecting guitar or piano have to go on the list. I miss music.

December!?!

2008-12-01T23:16:00.003-05:00

December 1: Snow is on the ground, and I am starting my 4th month of teaching! It sounds cliche to say, but the year is flying by. Sometimes the days seem to creep, but overall, the first-year experience is going by incredibly quickly. There are a lot of cool things about December...lots of fun snow activities: sledding, skating, snowball fights! Plus, Advent started yesterday, and it's a beautiful time of preparation for the Christmas season. One positive thing that might come out of the economic turmoil our country is experiencing could be that we will focus less on the material side of Christmas and rather how we can show compassion for others.

Thanksgiving post

2008-11-25T19:00:00.002-05:00

Well, I can't believe I made it to Thanksgiving break during my first year of teaching. I know it's cliche, but I am definitely going to reflect on the things for which I am thankful. It's been so easy this school year to dwell on the negative or at least to let myself focus a lot on things that could be better or aren't quite going my way. Time for a paradigm shift, no?

1. I am thankful for my family. This fall my grandparents were both really ill, and I am so grateful to still have them around and as a part of my life. My aunt remarried this year after losing her husband, and I am thankful for her happiness and fresh outlook on life. I'm thankful for parents who love and support me and for brothers who I guess do the same in their own ways. ;)

2. I'm thankful for good friends. This year, I have been incredibly blessed by old and new friends...both through long-distance friendships and having people to hang out with in and around EL. Moving back has been a little strange, but I know God placed some amazing friends in town to keep me company. Little do they know...that's why they're here! :)

3. My job. Not only now, but especially in times of economic hardship, I am reminded of how blessed I am to have a well-paying job. My job allows me not only to have a roof over my head and a car that works with gas in the tank, but to have food in my cupboards and to go out and be frivolous now and then with friends...enjoying movies, dinner, drinks, coffee dates, etc. My job also provides medical benefits that so many people lack. There have been many days where I am tired or cranky and feel under appreciated...and days that make me question why and how I am a teacher...but I am still thankful for my job.

4. Education and access to cultural capital. I was able to study at a university, complete a year-long internship, and I continue to have access to many activities and information through community events and even things like the internet which allow me to remain educated and up-to-date with world events.

5. The Grace of God. This one is pretty big, but the biggest thing of all for which I am grateful would have to be God's overwhelmingly sufficient grace. No matter what I do, I know I am forgiven, and I am given things I do not even deserve. God's grace and love are bigger than any hurt or pain we will ever know.

Holy Toledo, Batman!

2008-11-11T22:31:00.002-05:00

So, I have said (out loud) before that I didn't think I would ever see gas below $4.00 a gallon in my lifetime...today gas was priced at $1.98 a gallon...close to the price I paid for my first tank of gas when I was 16 (I think it was $1.84, but I'm not positive...)

I don't know why I'm really sharing this, except maybe to exemplify how wrong we can be, even when we are convinced we are right. God has a way of changing things in a way we can never imagine.

Thanksgiving is only a couple weeks away, and boy, do I have a lot for which I am thankful. There are ups and downs, and life is ever-changing and uncertain, but I am healthy and for the most part happy...I have great friends and family, a job, and a roof over my head. I pray everyone who reads this can take a few minutes to pause and give thanks for their blessings.

Hugs.

Happy 1/2 Birthday to me!

2008-10-29T22:31:00.002-04:00

For some reason, I've always felt the need to acknowledge my 1/2 birthday...it makes me feel somewhat like the Mad Hatter, celebrating his very happy unbirthday...but that's okay with me.

Tomorrow is my half birthday, and I wanted to reflect on some accomplishments in the past 6 months...the biggest probably being the fact that I moved into my own apartment and have a full-time job! I know I lived on my own during 4 years of college, but it's definitely not the same.

To add to this, for me, it is HUGE that I have a teaching job. For a long time, including during my job search this summer, I questioned how and why I got to this point...being a teacher. I am still unsure for many reasons, but for now this is where I am supposed to be, and it's going well.

Some old friendships have been rekindled. People I had given up on are a part of my life again, and it's a good thing.

Two of my best friends got married. This really has nothing to do with me, but they asked me to be a part of their big days, and I couldn't have been more honored (unless they had hung a huge, life-size poster of me in my honor, but that would be silly at a wedding, so really, I couldn't have been more honored). ;)

I think I am finally letting go of an "unrequited love" so to speak (I am totally channeling Jane Austen here; work with me). This probably sounds the least significant, and truly, it is, but still noteworthy.

I'm still learning a lot...how to lean on God, how to trust people, and with that, how to open up to others. I am learning a lot about what I really want and why, and what is important. I'm trying to be more spontaneous.

So, cheers! Happy un-birthday to all of us. Unless it's your birthday.

i'm a survivor...

2008-10-26T22:12:00.003-04:00

I think it's always healthy to begin a solid post with some lyrical genius courtesy of Destiny's Child.

I realized I hadn't updated in awhile, and lo and behold, I actually have people who read my blog!

Something big I really feel the need to share is that I have witnessed a miracle. As you may (or may not) know, my grandmother was one of the victims of the recent e. coli breakout in Michigan. She was also the only person who remained hospitalized several weeks later. She has, in fact, been in the hospital for 6 weeks (on Tuesday). She has made a complete turnaround, and she will hopefully be leaving the hospital soon for a rehab facility. Praise the Lord! I got to spend a lot of quality time with her this weekend (including watching the MSU Spartans win...!), and I am just so happy she is still here. My grandma was concerned with her appearance, and I told her, "Grandma, I am so happy you are HERE!" She was heading toward that bright light in the sky if you know what I mean, and we were just not ready for her to go, and apparently, that was the big plan anyway.

In other news, I have "survived" 2 months of teaching. It's amazing how quickly all of this flies by. I still get irritated by the fact that my job is consuming most of my time and energy, but I'll get over it. I am grateful to have a job that allows me to remain financially independent and self-sufficient. It makes me consider any future career/education moves and the environments in which I can work and not get burnt out. I am learning a lot, and I have to believe that the work I do each day is affecting others in a positive way.

Kids & Technology...sort of

2008-10-15T18:03:00.003-04:00

So, this will be a vent.

It really irritates me when young kids have uber-modern or uber-expensive cell phones.

Let me preface this vent by saying that I love my phone circa 2006; it has no camera capabilities, no bluetooth, and no downloaded ringtones or callbacks. It works for me.

At parent-teacher conferences last week, a student came with his mom and younger brother to talk about his grades (C range). As I tried to ask him questions about how he felt he was doing, he proceeded to text friends. I was totally insulted. Don't come sit at a parent-teacher conference and waste my time while your kid texts his friends. I wanted to ask him to stop, but I felt like his mom should have been the ultimate authority figure in this situation, and I'm just not comfortable stepping on those toes yet.

This same student has shared in class that he lost/broke his old phone, which cost $250 dollars. What?! Are you kidding me? Please save the $250 you'd spend on a phone for your 8TH GRADE SON, and save it for college. That will buy him approximately 2.5 textbooks freshman year of college. That will pay for him to apply to 5 top-notch schools. That will pay for him to take a field trip to see a Shakespeare play in Stratford. Do NOT buy your student a phone to carry to class and text friends from his pocket or under his desk. Do NOT buy him an expensive phone with which he can receive disruptive phone calls or take pictures on the sly. Do NOT buy a phone with mp3 capabilities for your 13 year-old son so he can hide his headphones under his hoodie and zone out during class.

I am all about technology. Cell phones are great, but why in the world does any student under 16 need a phone? And if you choose to buy your child a phone, why not a pre-paid phone for emergencies? Or better yet, give him or her YOUR phone if/when he or she needs it, and have them call you at home. I know I sound old fashioned, but with all the schools that ban phones from classroom, why are more and more parents buying their kids tricked-out phones?

I can't tell you how many times I have confiscated (or tried) phones from kids who see them as secret entertainment during class. If students were actually checking the time or turning it off as they somehow always are (why the heck would you have your phone out more than once to turn it off?), then it wouldn't be such a problem. But when kids are receiving texts (and from parents, nonetheless), taking calls, etc. during class, they become a problem.

Whew.

Happy blog action day. Consume less. Don't buy your kids new phones. I'm sure whatever Zack Morris phone from 1997 you have will be just fine.

Blog Action Day!

2008-10-14T20:22:00.003-04:00

Well, in a couple hours it will be Blog Action Day, but I will be sleeping once it hits in my time zone, so here is a post on BAD for you...

I don't really know what to share. I feel compelled to DO more than I feel compelled to write, but at this very moment it's hard for me to know what I can do that will actually make a difference. I'm thinking maybe spending some time fasting and praying about poverty...but I also want to do something which allows me to visibly see the results...even if I know they are happening no matter what.

Something in the past that I have enjoyed doing is serving at soup kitchens. I think it's important that those of us who are financially blessed don't feel like we are in a different world than those who at this moment are not. Often it is very little that separates us from those who "have not." I think it's important to shake hands, know names, and serve those who have less than we do in the monetary sense. It's harder to be ignorant when "poor people" have names. So maybe I should find an opportunity to serve in Lansing in the near future. I challenge those of you who read this to do the same in your community. Just once. Then see if you can recruit others to go with you a second time.

Some things we can do from a donation standpoint: Go through your closet. Get rid of clothes that you haven't worn in the past year. Get rid of clothes that don't fit. Donate them to a place where those who need them have access. Go through your pantry and donate canned and other non-perishable items which you probably won't use. Donate your FAVORITE food to the local food pantry; it might make someone's day!

Be grateful for what you have. Next time you go shopping or out to eat, have less, and consider tithing that money.

I feel like I should share that this "brainstorming" session was more for my own good than my readers', but if you feel inspired at all, please share what you are doing!

Be grateful for what you have. Read "Irresistible Revolution" if you want a convicting read.

P.S. http://site.blogactionday.org/ is a comprehensive list...49-51 were suggested by....moi! Cool, huh?

http://blogactionday.org/js/22a6e376f7878c2e013738646da8637af0855ef5">

Gearing up for Blog Action Day

2008-10-08T23:10:00.004-04:00

If you've never heard of it, check it out: Blog Action Day

If you blog, facebook, myspace, ning, etc., please consider spending that day to reflect upon these issues and challenge yourself and others to take action.

More to come...

2 posts in one day!

it's been awhile

2008-10-08T18:49:00.002-04:00

So, I see that people are checking my blog, and I haven't posted in awhile...the entertainer in me feels obligated to provide something funny or at least thought-provoking...what I can share is that I am tired beyond belief, but things are going well. We had/have parent-teacher conferences this week...so far, so good. That also means 2 half days and no school on Friday! In other good news, Grandma is doing better health-wise...still an uphill struggle, but she is holding her own. I have been eating very little beef and lettuce these days, let me add...

In teacherly news, I gave my first tests last week, and students seemed to have made it through...very few failures, and many students were very successful.

I feel as though the fragility of life has really been evident to me these past few years, and especially in the past year or so. A family friend passed away 2 nights ago after a tough battle with cancer. She will be missed. Please pray for her husband and 3 children.

I wonder what people thought in the days before we had the technology to know about cancer when people got sick and slowly withered away...The number of people I know who continue to be diagnosed with this horrible disease makes me want to go into medical research and do something to really get rid of this thing.

Sorry that took a really sad turn at the end. In happy news, it is currently fall, my favorite season. Leaves are really turning and falling off of the trees! The air is brisk and nights are cold! :) I love it.

why i will become a fruitarian

2008-09-27T19:34:00.005-04:00

e. coli.

My grandma has been in the hospital for almost 2 weeks now battling a severe infection of e. coli bacteria. As you can read here (my grandma is famous!), she became ill after eating a hamburger at a restaurant, and went to the hospital. Thinking it was diverticulitis acting up, doctors had no idea of the severity, and did not diagnose the e. coli infection for 4 or 5 days. She then developed HUS, a syndrome, and has experienced kidney failure. This week was rough...she was in a coma for a couple days, and the outlook was not good. It is still touch and go, but she is responsive now; she can blink and squeeze hands (no talking b/c she is on a respirator), and she smiles at my grandpa when he walks into the room.

I am so grateful that she is doing better. I have been blessed with many prayer warriors supporting my grandma and my family as we go through this tough time. She is a stubborn woman, and I know she has fight in her, so I am praying she uses it to beat this thing. If she does recover, she will still face some health issues (she will probably need dialysis for the rest of her life).

Be careful what you eat! Thanks for your prayers.

Tuesday Morning

2008-09-18T22:28:00.003-04:00

So, I have shared this story with several people, but this Tuesday was by far my most "challenging" day:

I was running a few minutes late on Tuesday morning (naturally), and of course, my car wouldn't start. It's a problem that has been intermittent since April, and while not surprising, it was very frustrating. So, after several failed attempts, I ran up to my apt, grabbed my helmet, changed out of my skirt, strapped on a backpack, and pedaled my purple Huffy bike like a madwoman to school. I had about 25 minutes before the first bell, and I am going to estimate it is at least 3 miles to school. I made it, sweaty and tired, with 5 minutes to spare. I saw the principal in the hallway (after I carefully locked my Huffy outside on the bike rack with the middle schoolers' bikes) and saw that kids were already in the classroom.

They asked me what was going on, and I explained the story. After they got a good laugh, and threated to steal my front bike tire, the quote of the day was: "Don't you have a boyfriend with a car or something?"

Priceless. I've survived 3 weeks of teaching, and life is good.

updates on the teaching front...

2008-09-09T17:28:00.003-04:00

1. Tonight is open house at the middle school. :) I love those kids, and I am excited to meet their parents.

2. Today one of my 7th grade boys cried to me after class. I came down a little hard on him while he was chatting and moved his seat. I felt terrible, but I was proud of him for letting the waterworks flow in front of me. So precious. I am going to try to be more sensitive.

3. Today a counselor at the high school asked me (as I waited to speak with a secretary) if I was there to meet with him. I thought he was joking (he is also a new hire and at all the other hullabaloo with me these past 2 weeks), but when I said no, he asked if I was here to see a different counselor...no sign of sarcasm. I said no...and he seemed puzzled. I even wore loafers today...go figure.

i survived

2008-09-02T21:51:00.002-04:00

Actual day 1 of teaching has come and gone...and I survived. :) I don't have much time to type out a bigger report right now, but things went well, and I am so happy now that i have met my students. It is going to be a challenging, tiring year, but I'm pumped and hopefully I will have more to report soon. :) P.S. I love middle schoolers...isn't that fun? I am excited for that part of the experience.

First DayI

2008-08-26T21:28:00.003-04:00

It's been a week since I've posted...in that week I have moved back to EL and also started my new job! Last Friday my roomie and I moved into our apt. It is really great so far. We are still getting settled (our living room is quite empty and kind of sad), but slowly it's coming together. On Saturday my family celebrated my aunt's wedding with a fun reception. Then on Sunday I had the pleasure of riding my bike down to SJSP to celebrate mass with some friends. It was wonderful, but I got really emotional during the service. It is definitely a strange feeling to be so close to MSU and at times engrossed in MSU culture, but to not really be a part of it. So much of the reason I loved EL in the first place was my experience as a student here, and now it is changing. I am curious to see how God works in me this year as I am back in a familiar city with unfamiliar circumstances. I don't have the huge built-in network of college roommates, college-age neighbors, classmates, friends from the dorms, etc. anymore.

Today I did meet some new people...I met my colleagues from ELPS. It is nice to have some friendly faces who I can turn to as I start my first job. Of course, the world language department chair, a wonderfully nice woman, already showed me which male teachers are single and looking for love. My mom will love that.

Tomorow and Thursday will complete our professional development for the week, then it's back home for Frannie's wedding, another huge change. I am glad all of this is happening so quickly, or I'd probably be a wreck about all of these huge changes. I even felt guilty getting rid of my old bedspread tonight to replace it with a fun new one I bought this week. While in general I am always adamant about not being an "emotional person," I do get emotionally attached to objects, and I feel guilty when I don't need them anymore. For me this is very related to things being traditional and/or constant, and maybe even in a weird way about loyalty. It's just strange when some of those emotions are transferred to things instead of other people.

changes!

2008-08-19T13:12:00.001-04:00

So much has been happening in the past 6 days! Last Wed. I interviewed for and was offered a position teaching MS/HS Spanish in E. Lansing. :) I am beyond thrilled, however, with 2 week until school starts, there is A LOT to do! Yesterday Emily and I looked for apartments. I think we found a nice, 2-bedroom place where we can both be comfortable for the next 10 months or so during our first teaching positions. I am very grateful that although this is all very fast, it is going smoothly. I have new teacher orientation tomorrow, where I am hoping to learn more about my school, colleagues, and students. I could use some information to ease my mind a little about exactly what I am going to be teaching this year.

Frannie's wedding is also less than 2 weeks away, which means besides moving and planning, I am preparing to be MOH! I am incredibly excited for her; I wish I had more time to spend helping her prepare instead of packing boxes this week, but I know she understands.

All summer I had prayed for patience and guidance, and I just feel blessed today that I can look back at all the frustration, rejection, and disappointment and know that I am going where I am supposed to be. I feel like when people say that, sometimes I am such a skeptic and it sounds cheesey, but right now it feels true. I have great friends and family who have continued to encourage and support me even when I was being super-pessimistic and unsure about pretty much EVERYTHING. Now, living in EL again, I already have a built-in network through church and some MSU friends still in the community as undergrads and medical students. Already having a knowledge of the city where I will be teaching and living helps me feel a lot less anxious as I start this new job and career.

Interesting article

2008-08-16T02:05:00.001-04:00

What do you guys think? I, of course, have an opinion, but I am going to wait to see what others say first. If I even elicit responses, ha!

http://www.citizensugar.com/1867743#comments

What I did this summer...

2008-08-15T16:36:00.003-04:00

So, I have felt like a big blob of nothing at many points this summer, being unemployed and living at home. I wanted to reflect a little on what I have accomplished since school ended in the spring...

This summer I...

...ran my first 5K! I almost met my goal of running under 30 minutes, too. ;)

...went to Europe, and visited 3 new countries (France, Germany, and Switzerland).

...got my first "real" job! With benefits! And full-time pay!

...learned a lot about grace and humility as I faced a lot of rejection before getting said job.

...stood up in my friend's wedding. I've known her since 4th grade.

...planned and threw a wedding shower and bachelorette party (with some help from other lovely ladies). It was amazing. I can't wait until that wedding.

...visited a lot of family and friends: grandparents, cousins, college and high school friends.

...successfully remained unemployed while not completely depleting my savings account. Trust me, I was worried about this one. ;)

Olympics

2008-08-11T23:24:00.002-04:00

So, one of my favorite parts of the Olympic games is when the viewer gets to see the "behind-the-scenes" story of the athletes...pretty much the athlete version of VH1's "Behind the Music." I love learning the individual stories of the Olympians. Whether-or-not they do well in the competition (which still means nothing when you think about how many people they have still dominated over, but I digress), their story is known, and hopefully can inspire others.

I also enjoy seeing the great moments of sportsmanship and fellowship among people from different countries and cultures. I think it's important especially that our youth see examples of this comraderie in their role models. One of my friends posted something online recently about the Olympics and wrote "Go World!" I really liked that, and while I do support the USA as my home nation, I wish more people wouldn't think so much just about patriotism, but about being global citizens. We are here together, yes, divided geographically and also politically by man-made lines, but we are here together on this one Earth. So, while I hope the ol' red, white, and blue can pull off lots of great moments and gold medals, GO WORLD!

locks of love continued

2008-08-10T19:09:00.002-04:00

So, after sharing this idea with several friends, I already know some people who have agreed to grow out their hair! I think my goal for now will be to find some recruits, and then once I know where I am working this year, I can pick a location and recruit stylists to help out. Luckily, LoL has a packet for volunteers and organizers on their site. :)

We celebrated Fran's bachelorette party last night, and it was amazing. Too many funny details to share, but overall, a blessing that all her close friends could be there to spend one crazy night together before she gets married! :)

an idea...

2008-08-07T00:35:00.002-04:00

So, lately I've been frustrated with myself because I haven't been doing much of anything besides searching for a job. I am in one of those complacent/apathetic moods where I want to do something like volunteer or get involved in a community group, but I'm just not. As I was brainstorming some little things I could do, I thought of donating my hair to Locks of Love. Then, after researching, I realized my vanity (and highlights with bleach) means that I cannot donate my hair! I am really sad. However, then I realized I could probably do something bigger, and perhaps get a lot of other people, more than just me, to donate hair. And that by organizing an event, maybe that would be even better than just me by myself.

So, although I have a fear of commitment and hesitate to even post these thoughts, I want to do something. I'm picturing a one-day event in the next year or so where people who have committed themselves to growing out their hair can come and have it cut. We could have the whole thing based on donations...financial ones, but also time and talent. If I could find cosmetologists willing to cut and style hair, men, women, and children willing to grow and donate their locks, and others willing to share time and energy to make this happen, wouldn't it be cool?

I know so many women especially who have gone through chemo treatment for cancer and after losing their hair decided to use a wig. I can see how this helps them feel feminine and beautiful in a time of fatigue and distress. So, I am writing this to hear some thoughts...I am thinking this blog or an additional one would be a great place to start collaborating, and who knows? Maybe something cool could come out of it. I am envisioning classes of students committing to this, people at their workplaces, etc. If people can commit to running races for cancer and other causes, why not hair? Let's see what God does with this spark.

And just for the record, if this happens, I am going to cut my hair with everyone else, and grow it out again without bleach. ;)

wedding dates

2008-08-04T23:48:00.002-04:00

Wedding dates are just "one of those things." Being single, it's always a saga to decide what to do when the invitation arrive that includes "& Guest." First, do you even bring a date? I have opted to do several things in the past:
1. Bring a male friend in whom I am interested. Now, I am not saying he knew about the interested part, but he was a friend and agreed to go. Some potential for uncertainty or sweaty palms during the dance and/or bouquet toss, but perhaps worth the risk if you are the risking type. Just don't get mad when he is taking the garter off of a bridesmaid with his teeth.
2. Bring a male friend with whom their is no underlying motive. This is a great option, because if you know each other well enough, there is no awkwardness, and hopefully you can have a lot of fun. No goodnight kiss, though. ;)
3. Bring a female friend. Some of my best wedding dates these past few years have been female friends, typically that also know the bride and/or groom. My girl friends who have been my dates are also usually more fun to dance with and better at making conversation at the table. May also provide more competition for single males at the reception. Choose wisely.
4. Go stag. Or whatever it's called when you're a woman. Although sometimes this can be difficult if you know literally no one but the happy couple, it's an opportunity to meet new people and step out of your comfort zone. This is how I met some of my favorite 50-somethings at a wedding last year. We all danced the Hustle together, and it was fantastic.

Having also been the wedding date that was "just a friend" or possibly more than a friend, I would say all options are viable, and make sure you take advantage of any and all champagne toasts, cake handouts, and choreographed dances. You might even watch "Wedding Crashers" for inspiration.

Enjoy the last month of wedding season! :]

e-mail is fun!

2008-07-30T18:30:00.004-04:00

Today I sent an email to a school vice principal stating that while I was not sure I was still being considered a candidate (for a position for which I interviewed several weeks ago), I would no longer like to be considered, because I cannot commit to her program at this time. I worded it in a way I believed to be professional and courteous. It was important to me that she know I am no longer interested. There is really more of a back story about my confusion as to whether-or-not I was offered the job or told that they would not be offering me the job, but that isn't too relevant.

Then, in what I believe was an attempt to forward my email to her principal, I received the following (some names may have been changed):

"Hi, 'Barb',

You need to see this. Wow...

'Mimi'"

My email was attached.

I can't help but get a little annoyed and borderline offended...and I realized it's mostly the "wow..." part that bothers me. I am tempted to reply simply stating: "I don't believe your last email got to its intended recipient" or something to that effect. I also know I should move on and not take offense so easily.

SO. Be careful with your emails. Watch out for forward, reply, reply all (those will get you, believe me), and be sure to utilize carbon and blind-carbon copy. ;)

Happy emailing!

Maybe...

2008-07-29T15:07:00.002-04:00

...being rejected by boys in high school prepared me for this job search. ;)

good day, sunshine

2008-07-26T22:39:00.002-04:00

Today was just an overall great day. I woke up an an early hour, well-rested and ready to run. Katie and I ran the Coast Guard 5K in Grand Haven, where I finished in 30:54 minutes. My goal was to run the whole way without walking at all, and I was aiming for under 30 minutes. I am a little bummed it was over, but it will make improvement easier. :)

We headed to the beach in GH for some beautiful sunshine, breezes, and waves with Fran and her family. Even after lavishly applying spf 30, I left the beach with some unsightly and splotchy sunburn. Naturally.

I finally saw the Dark Knight, which I found really exciting and intriguing. My crush on Christian Bale endures...

The jury is still out on my future as an educator in a MI public school, but it was lovely to enjoy a day with friends and good times without worrying about such things. Tomorrow I travel to the other side of the state for some interviews and time with more friends and family.

August approaches!

rejection

2008-07-25T11:44:00.002-04:00

I don't think anyone handles rejection particularly well, but I must say, this job search has really humbled me and taught me a lot about rejection. I have learned a lot about expectations, optimism, realism, and handling rejection with grace. This morning I found out I didn't get one a job for which I interviewed this week...it's a bummer because out of all the jobs for which I have applied and/or interviewed, it's probably been my number one choice. The good news is, I am still waiting to hear back from 2 districts, plus I have 3 interviews lined up for next week...including one with Syracuse University for a position in their study abroad office, which would be AWESOME. So, I am keeping the faith, and I know that the right job will come at the right time. I believe that sometimes it's not always about qualifications or even "who you know" as people say, but that it's a good fit personality-wise as well, and I am waiting for that right fit. (But, let me add that I have officially applied for more than 32 jobs since the end of April, with about a 1/3 of them interviewing me. Whew!)

Enjoy your Friday! And keep me in your prayers tomorrow morning...I am running my first 5K! Not much for most people, but this is from a non-runner. ;)

celebrity crushes

2008-07-22T14:16:00.002-04:00

I have no idea what prompted this.

1. James Marsden. Maybe it is the way he sings "Bennie and the Jets" in "27 Dresses," or the way he looks in that uniform in "The Notebook," but I find him very attractive. If "The Notebook" were about me, I would have totally gone with James instead of whats-his-face with the ugly beard. Another reason I hate Nicholas Sparks stories.

2. Anderson Cooper. Although much older and possibly interested in people who aren't women (or so it is rumored...I don't really care about that stuff), he can definitely pull off silvery-white old-man hair, and his work on CNN shows that he cares about big issues.

3. Christian Bale. Long before the Batman days, he caught my eye in "Newsies" and then "Little Women." Again, sorry, Professor Behr, but Jo is an idiot. Although Laurie did piss me off when he chose Amy, but now I am just being petty.

4. Justin Timberlake. In the *NSYNC days I was madly in love with JC (oh, the life of a 7th grader), but JT's talent is something I really admire. He has somehow managed to survive being a young star and not only maintained his career, but proven you can be uber-famous without being a complete idiot.

Too bad I refuse to date a man who is prettier than I am...

it's all in the timing.

2008-07-21T13:48:00.002-04:00

So, last week and this week have been full of interviews all over this wonderful, mitten-shaped state. While all has seemed to go well, I am basically now in a waiting game. Those of you who know me probably understand that patience is not one of my best-cultivated virtues, although I have been getting better at it. Impatience combined with a control-oriented nature is not a great combo. ;) Anyway. This probably sounds silly, and I'm a little embarrassed to quote pop music in this post, but this morning I heard a Jordin Sparks song on the radio, "One Step at a Time." Basically, the song reminds the listener that everything happens in its own time. I was thinking today about something I heard once...that if we pray for things like wisdom, patience, to be gracious, etc., we must also accept the challenges God sends us that allow these characteristics to be grown in us. Instead of rushing this job/moving out/leaving home process, I should be reveling in every moment of it, gleaning what I can from each second of the unknown. Also, I think it's interesting that so many people say "everything happens for a reason" so often when unfortunate or surprising things happen. I think often it is just as or more so fitting to say "everything happens at the right time."

religion and politics

2008-07-14T14:27:00.002-04:00

There are two topics that are typically taboo in general discussion...and of course, they are two that I tend to bring up a lot in general conversation because I like to talk, and I am opinionated. ;)

Last night at church I heard a great teaching on the book of Isaiah that got me jazzed up all over again about mixing religion and politics. There are some who believe they should never be mixed. I, however, disagree. If one's religion is to be the driving force behind all decisions made, shouldn't that include how a vote is cast, and which leaders are speaking out for his or her beliefs?

If we are called to clothe the naked, feed the hungry, and find homes for the homeless, shouldn't we cast our votes in ways that allow this to become more of a reality? I know politics are full of rhetoric and usually people end up talking in circles while billions of dollars are simultaneously being spent on domestic and foreign policy that somehow usually render no tangible or visible progress, BUT, wouldn't it be nice to know that at least the votes you cast went towards candidates and programs that mean something?

I don't think Jesus would be very pleased with our economic and social situations today. Rather than helping our fellow man, we live in a society driven by selfishness, win-lose economics, and social injustice. Rather than hoarding away every penny we earn to ourselves, we are called to share them with those in need. We are not called to exclude and judge others, but rather to welcome them to the table to dine with us.

Growing up, I was influenced in a way that led me to believe that because I am a Christian, I need to vote a certain way...typically based upon pro-life stances. However, I think if someone is truly pro-life, he or she also needs to be ready to support social programs that fund adoption, foster care, support single-parent families, education, and economic support for families that are poor. It baffles me that people can picket abortion clinics and then refuse to spend any of their income to help existing children and families.

I know this is a little intense, but I tend to get fired up easily about things, and a lot has been on my mind. I hope your day is blessed.

i'm judgmental

2008-07-10T00:31:00.002-04:00

So, I just want to share...when I was 9, my family moved from a suburb of Detroit to Hudsonville, a small town that is about halfway between Holland and Grand Rapids. Hudsonville is a nice, quiet town, and I call it a hick town...mostly because people actually live on farms, wear cowboy boots to school, and drive pick-ups. I have always been really oppositional toward the "country" lifestyle...I prefer not to listen to country music, and I don't really enjoy the dress or dancing. However. Tonight, I was sitting in a little hick bar out near Holland, drinking a brew and watching people line dance. I realized I like this place. It's not where I want to live forever or raise kids, but it's fun, and I'm glad it makes people happy. I even wore some real cowboy boots to the bar tonight, just for fun, and it was! I learned some new line dances, and I think I would go back again. I hope I can continue to be more open minded about other subcultures here. I don't know how I can be so excited about other countries, languages, and cultures outside of the US and judge people who live down the street from me.

challenged

2008-07-09T15:27:00.003-04:00

So, I feel like God is definitely challenging me and what I thought/wrote about bad things coming n groups of 3. God has totally blessed me with, yes, 3 upcoming interviews! While I still have doubts and feel uncertain about my capabilities and strengths in the world of teaching, I feel really blessed to have these opportunities. I know especially in today's economy (and even more so in Michigan), it is important that I take the work I can, and working/living up north would be a fun adventure and beautiful!

Please pray for continued patience as I move forward in this job search.

It is a beautiful day, and I am off to visit with some friends.

:)

emotions

2008-07-08T00:09:00.002-04:00

This is kind of a random topic, but I was just thinking tonight about emotions, and how different each person is not only with his or her way of experiencing various emotions, but emotional expression. I am someone who tends to keep her emotions to herself. Usually people can tell when I am really angry (because I vocalize it...), but in general I feel like I am private about my feelings on the deepest level. I also tend to tie emotions to tangible things. I have the blanket I was given when I was only a baby, and I still keep it in my bed next to me each night. I am also somewhat of a packrat by nature, saving things like movie tickets, travel brochures, business cards, school papers, etc. Some of these seems logical at the time, but other things (movie tickets?) are just absurd to hang on to after so long...I have finally come to a point in my life where I am able to purge some of my little "collections," but I know some are still hard to get rid of. Tonight, for example, I deleted the saved text messages in my phone. It's amazing how liberating it is to press "delete" on messages from people for whom I once had strong feelings...isn't that silly? Do you ever randomly delete people from your AIM buddy list or facebook profile? Or from your phone or email directories? And for other messages, I want to save them because they make me laugh or feel loved. I just think humans are so funny in the way we attach emotionality and memories to the littlest things. I mean, I have heard stories and seen in movies how some women save shoeboxes (or more) of things like napkins from first dates or movie tickets from romantic evenings or letters and poems, etc., and then have to basically toss them into a bonfire several months or years (weeks?) later when their hearts are broken and cannot heal as long as these tangible things exist. I know that "you can't take it with you," so it saddens me when I think about how I attach myself to things. If only I could be more open with my emotions and share myself more openly with friends and family. If I spent more energy attaching emotions to people and less to things, what would my life look like? Just some random thoughts. I'm sure I've already over-analyzed this, but I still find it interesting.

sets of 3

2008-07-05T11:46:00.002-04:00

So, I have heard the myth before that bad things (and maybe good things?) come in sets of 3. I know there is a lot of symbolism and mysticism around the number 3, and a lot of that is also important to me. However, my heart is saddened right now because some people close to me have received news lately that they are ill. If you could please keep these 3 people lifted in prayer, I would appreciate it:

1. My good friend Aaron, from high school, was admitted to the hospital yesterday with pulmonary embolisms. Doctors also discovered a mysterious mass on his pancreas, which is pushing a main vein, which in turn probably caused these embolisms. His family has been through a lot, including the loss of his younger sister to brain cancer last year.

2. My dad's half sister recently found out she has cancer throughout her abdomen. It doesn't look good.

3. Another family friend, Chrysti, the mother of beautiful twin girls, was diagnosed with a very rare form of cancer that has been affecting her tissues and bones in her shoulder.

If you are a prayerful person, please keep then lifted in your daily prayers. It is difficult to watch people suffer, and also hard to know there is not much I can do to help besides pray and be positive, and sometimes optimism is exhausting.

I hope all of you had a beautiful fourth of July weekend...I spent the day at the beach in Grand Haven with old and new friends. We grilled out and then headed downtown for the fireworks, and it was a great display (this from someone who is not easily entertained). Today is also looking to be gorgeous. Stay safe and hug your loved ones. :)

christian bale

2008-07-02T21:48:00.002-04:00

Okay, so this post isn't really about Christian Bale. But. I have had this reoccurring thought in my head: How can I just go around throwing out perfectly good job offers? And that reminds me of one of my favorite movies (and okay, novels), Little Women, in which Laurie propose to Jo, and she turns him down. Jo says something to the effect of "And there I go, throwing away perfectly good marriage proposals!" I feel her pain. However, I have to say that these little nagging thoughts are not going to drag me down. God provides, and today I already got a call for a job interview in Michigan. I think having things calm down in July with schools will also allow me to focus on possibilities in higher education, which is becoming more and more appealing. I think I am starting to realize that whatever I decide is not permanent and doesn't define me or my career path. It is a "foot in the door," as everyone keeps reminding me. I basically need money and experience doing SOMETHING before I can go back to school or move up the professional ladder. So, I am going with my gut, and continuing my quest for a job that suits me in many ways, including geographically. I am kind of an internet freak, and I am always on googlemaps.com, partly because I also just really like maps...I digress. I gooogled Michigan to Colorado, and then for example, Michigan to North Carolina. The distance to Colorado was about 1200 miles, while MI to NC was only 800. Emily, I know for you it probably seems farther at times, but I was thinking, just that extra 400 miles is a lot, especially with a mom who doesn't fly. I think I could still leave MI if needed, but be close enough to drive home to see the fam as necessary. So, while I want to be consistent with my previous reasoning and logic in my choices, I feel I still have a lot of options available. I also heard word of an opening for a Spanish-speaking school coordinator/social work position that intrigues me, so we shall see. For the first time in my life, I don't have an immediate plan, and while that is scary, it's also fun, and I am learning a lot in this time of uncertainty. I am also sick of all my conversations being about my job search. Not because I mind being asked about it, but because I feel that it is consuming my life to the point where I have nothing more to offer people, so I need to change that. Sorry to you if I haven't been sharing more of myself than my professional pursuits. That includes you, random blog reader. Yes, I know there are a couple of you because I stalk you on my live feed.

leap of faith

2008-06-30T11:48:00.002-04:00

Well, this morning I officially declined my first job offer to a wonderful school in Colorado. The principal is a wonderful woman, and her kindness today made it even harder to turn down. However, I am praying now for confidence in my decision, and knowing that this is the right course for me. My friend's mom gave me this quote last fall: "The lure of the distant and difficult is deceptive. The great opportunity is where you are." John Burroughs

I really have grown to believe that, and I am trying to figure out what that means for me and my place in the world right now. The awesome thing is, the principal said she will need another Spanish teacher next year, and she said she'd love to have me anytime I am ready to go. So, I still have options, and I know God will continue to bless me in this search if I am patient. I know for most people a leap of faith means going somewhere, trying something new, being adventurous. For me, the leap of faith is staying here and knowing I will be okay without the "amazing adventure" I envision with moving.

It is a beautiful sunshine day! Going to see Rae Rae tomorrow in Fenton w/ Fran and Kate, and I couldn't be more excited.

peace

2008-06-27T00:01:00.002-04:00

Well, God really blessed me today. All morning I was plagued with indecision and stress regarding my job offer in CO. I finally got ahold of my dad, and of course, while he was pouring out his fatherly wisdom, I was silently weeping on the other end, trying not to let him hear. After he had basically made me realize I should move, I shared some things that have been on my heart and mind lately, and then I was certain that I shouldn't go. Praise the Lord that Joy, the principal from the school in CO, called me. I was formally offered the position, and I also asked that we extend my decision deadline to Monday. Being the wonderful woman she is (making the choice that much harder), she agreed. So, I can sit back and enjoy Megan's wedding tomorrow, and "worry" about this job thing later. I think I have realized that no matter what, I can't mess up. God is faithful and if I turn down this opportunity, He will provide something else. If I decide to take it, I believe He will bless me and take care of me in that choice as well.

It's strange how well my father knows me. And I'm talking about my earthly father. He was saying how he was sure than 2-6 months ago I was ready to pack up and leave, and that it was probably due to a) living at home in my parents' basement and b) wanting something exciting after graduating last year. He is so right. I know that in the fall and winter I thought I'd be moving far away, and now I am not sure that is what I want. This year living at home has taught me a lot about what role I want my family to play in my life, and how close I want them to be. I have also been considering how I want to spend my resources in the future, and I know travel is important. If I save money by not flying back and forth between my parents home and where I live, I will have more resources with which to travel. I also realized today that this is probably the best opportunity to work out of state that I will get, so if I want to go, carpe diem. Lots to consider :)

Tomorrow my friend from h.s gets married, and our whole group reunites for the first time in a very long while. I am excited for many reasons, and blessed to be standing up in the wedding with my friend as she exchanges her vows. It makes me think a lot about love and how wonderful it really is. I am kind of a cynic and what I would call an optimistic realist (or maybe a realistic optimist....I'll have to ponder that) when it comes to relationships. I am glad to see how God has been working in my friend's life and how cool to share in her day as she moves into the covenant of marriage. I hope I can work past all my cynicism and reach that point some day.

Toodles. :)

the agony of indecision

2008-06-26T10:10:00.003-04:00

So. long story short: i got a job offer. in colorado springs. the school, staff, location, everything sound amazing. however. it is very far, and will be very costly to move there. and school would start for me aug. 4, which gives me approx. 5 weeks to visit, set up housing, and move. plus, i would have to fly back @ the ene of aug. for a wedding, which adds to the costliness. what do i do? i have no idea. i am 50/50 split right now between being adventurous and just going, getting it done, and hopefully having a good time, and waiting to see if i have a closer, less costly opportunity here in michigan or at least closer to home. part of me would be really excited to get away for awhile, but i would miss my family terribly, and my mom doesn't fly, so when they would visit, i don't know. hm. i have until friday to decide. yikes. ...........................

paris & germany

2008-06-25T16:17:00.000-04:00

As promised, here is a little bit of an insight into the past 10 days of my life...

Sat. the 14th I left for DTW. All of my flights went well and were on time. I sat next to an old, snoring man on my 8 hour flight...:) Got into Paris CDG and made my way safely to the hostel. I was incredibly tired, but thrilled to hear that the girls had arrived about an hour before. That first afternoon/evening we walked around and climbed up the Eiffel Tower. We found a cute little restaurant where we had salad and pizza....not exactly typical French cuisine, ha. But it was exciting to be in Paris! We met Ryan back at the hostel that night and then Monday was spent around Paris. We saw parts of the Louvre, but mostly went to the Mona Lisa and left, because it was just huge. We saw Sacre Coeur that morning as well. After some yummy quiche and cafe au lait, we headed to Ile de la Cite (sp?) and saw Saint Chapelle, Notre Dame, and the Latin Quarter. Saint Chapelle was beautiful, and we got to participate in a vespers service at ND, which was amazing. We ate French cuisine at a cute restaurant in the Latin Quarter area...French wine, French onion soup, some pasta, and cheese for dessert. :) We also went to look at the Arc du Triomphe (forgive my horrible French spelling, please).

Tues. we headed out of the city to Versaille to see Louis the XIV's beautiful palace and gardens. It was a beautiful day as well. We then went back to Paris to see the Moulin Rouge and Montmarte area. We took a long walk to the Arc du Triomphe and strolled down the Champs d'Elysees for a little shopping. We ate at a cute cafe and then went back to the Arc and walked up to the top for some more beautiful views. To top off our evening, we walked to the Eiffel Tower and watched it sparkle (literally) at midnight.

Wed. Kristen, Andrea, and I left for Germany, leaving Ryan and Lauren in Paris for one more day. The trains were awesome, and Claudia met us with hugs and kisses at the station in Freiburg! It was beautiful weather our whole time there. We explored the town while Claudia had class, then had German food and drinks for dinner. Thurs. during Claudia's class and work Kristen, Andrea, and I headed to Waldkirch to hike around. That night we got decked out to watch Germany play in the EuroCup at a big field with a big screen projection. I ate some bratwurst and drank German beer. Mmm. :) Plus, Germany won (and is currently in the finals!)

On Friday. we went to Basel (the host city for the EuroCup) and wandered around. It's a really cute city, and kind of cool to get to see part of Switzerland. Back in Freiburg, we went to a bier garden and relaxed (with a liter of beer). Saturday was Claudia's mock EU meeting, so we went and watched her kick butt as Luxembourg. Actually, there was no competition, but she kicked butt anyway. There was also some shopping involved on Friday that I forgot to mention, where I was pleased to replace my broken sunglasses Euro-style. :) Sat. evening we had yummy pasta for dinner then cocktails while we watched Russia beat the Netherlands.

Sunday we went to mass (in German, of course!) and that was a cool experience. Then it was so incredibly hot out that we went and laid in the sun on a riverbank. It was intense heat. Claudia and I left early and started cooking dinner. We had a girls' night in and relaxed at her apt. Monday was my last day, and we spent the morning in Freiburg; we climbed the cathedral tower and had some amazing views of the city. Then, after my last real German sausage, we went to Staufen for wine tasting. It was a really cute little town, I wish we had had time to see more of it. After packing, we had dinner downtown and then participated in quiz night at an Irish Pub in town. Travels home were long but safe, and I am so grateful for the experience.

home

2008-06-24T23:26:00.000-04:00

Just wanted to share a little note to say I am finally home! After an exhausting day of trains, metros, planes, and cars (22 hours total without sleep), I am safely at home, and ready for rest! It was an amazing trip, I will be sure to write about some highlights and hopefully include pics. Shout out to an amazing redhead who helped make it happen. Can't wait to travel again...:)

God is good.

love from germany

2008-06-19T05:36:00.000-04:00

This time when I saw that a viewer from Germany was on my blog, it was me!!! We arrived safely in Germany yesterday and successfully reunited with Claudia at the train station. It was wonderful to finally see her in person and give her a big hug. The weather is gorgeous, and today we plan to take a hike in the Black Forest to some castle ruins...who does that?

Paris and Versaille were beautiful as well, and I am thankful for the time we spent there, but I feel much more relaxed and "on vacation" here in Germany. We are talking about the possibility of going to Basel, Switzerland or a city in France for a day trip. Not sure about Munich b/c it is 6 hours each way by train, but we shall see. Last night we had German cuisine and beer, and t was quite delicious, I must say. Freiburg is a really cute city, and I am excited to do more exploring. Everyone has been safe and healthy, praise the Lord. More to come this week or when I get back. Tschuss! (sp?) :)

game time

2008-06-14T12:25:00.000-04:00

Well, in less than 7 hours I will be en route to Detroit, then off to Paris! I can't believe I am leaving today. I have been excited for this trip for quite some time, and I still don't feel like I am going to Europe tonight. I have nervous butterflies in my stomach right now, but I think it's good nerves an excitement kicking in. I haven't been abroad in 3 years, and I am so grateful for the opportunity to explore more places. I am basically packed, and oh so proud of myself for packing lightly enough to not need checked baggage! that will be wonderful. I rendezvous with Andrea & Co. at our hostel tomorrow afternoon. I have stocked up on library travel guide books for my 8 hour flight. I also bought a TIME Magazine this morning, and hopefully the cover story isn't ominous: "How to survive a disaster." Hmmm. :]

I am leaving all of the job b.s. behind me this week so I can truly enjoy myself. I worked so hard for 5 years to finish school and this internship. I am ready to kick back under the Parisian sun, enjoy beer gardens in Germany, and explore new places.

I hope your week is blessed.

stress

2008-06-13T13:30:00.001-04:00

What a day. Tomorrow I leave for a 10-day excursion in Europe, and I should be nothing but thrilled. However, I have been majorly stressed instead. I found out that my mentor from student teaching is retiring after an amazing 35-year career. I am really happy for her, and that also means that there is a Spanish position open. However, because I will be gone next week, I am not being considered at all for an interview. They are doing them one day and one day only. Wow.

Also, I am meeting some amazing women in Paris. While this is awesome, and I am grateful I am not traveling completely alone, I have had zero notice of when and where to meet them, which distresses me. Needle in a haystack? Anyone?

You know you are stressed when you get upset because the bank teller hands you 20s instead of big bills. WHY didn't she know I needed big bills for my trip? I realized quickly that I needed to go home and relax. So, here is to a fun-filled trip. Please pray it is blessed and that travels are safe. I am sure I sound like a spoiled brat because no one in their right mind would have any complaints about a trip to Europe, but I guess this just shows how I invite stress into my life.

insomnia

2008-06-12T00:23:00.000-04:00

Hello. It is 12:23 a.m., and I can't sleep.

I think I am excited/anxious for the trip that is coming up...! It is finally hitting me that in a few days I will be in Paris...crazy. I finally did laundry today and started to (sort of) pack. I thought it would be easy to pack lightly, but, it's not. C'est la vie. Oh yes, and you bet I am trying to incorporate as much French into my vernacular as possible. :]

I watched the movie "Stranger than Fiction" tonight with my dad. I had seen it once before, and I really believe I enjoyed it every bit as much the second time around. It is really a well-written movie that makes one think. That is important to me when it comes to movies. I would like a movie that makes me think or laugh. Both are preferable.

I believe I will be in job-seeking limbo at least until I return on June 24. I am okay with that. Good thing, eh? I don't have much of a choice. I found 4 new positions to which I can apply in MI alone. That is reassuring, although now I am again shifting into "I am ready to move out of state" mode. Maybe I should see someone about my neuroses...that might help. Tonight I could barely decide among ice cream flavors at Ben & Jerry's; how the heck am I supposed to choose a position, job, or career path? (I selected Strawberry Cheesecake in a waffle cone. Delish.)

I don't think I will be properly wrapping up this post.

.burn.

2008-06-08T12:19:00.001-04:00

Well, it's official...I know summer has begun because I have my *first* sunburn of the season...of course it's red, blotchy, and uneven. ;) Aw, does that rhyme, too?

Six days 'til I leave for Europe, then the rest of June is basically a whirlwind of travels and wedding fun. I love my friends to death, and I am glad they are enjoying this process, but let me tell you, being this close to so much weddings planning does not make me desire a big, traditional wedding.

I have spent very little time preparing for my upcoming travels, so if anyone has insights to Paris, I would appreciate it! I actually have a list of recommended sights that keeps getting longer as I hear recommendations. This morning I was watching the French Open (I have a crush on Rafael Nadal, btw), and I realized that in less than a week I will be in the same city! That is crazy to me. I have always wanted to do more traveling, and I am extremely pumped about hitting two of my big destinations on one trip. Besides Paris, the other two major cities I really would like to hit someday are Tokyo and London...among many others.

I had my 2nd round "interview" or lesson demo last week with Waverly...I think it went well, and I should find out this week if I advance to the next round. This job search is CRAZY. There is a part of me that would be completely relieved to know that I have a stable job and paycheck awaiting me in the fall...while another part is still searching for other opportunities and possibilities for the next couple years of my life. I am doing my best to trust that whatever happens is what is meant for me in the next couple years. Today in church I was hearing some interesting things, and I don't know yet what they mean for me, but I am excited.

Happy sunshine day! :]

thankful

2008-06-04T16:13:00.000-04:00

Things for which I am currently thankful:

1. interview tomorrow!
2. a wonderful, supportive mentor this past year.
3. travel opportunities/upcoming hugs in germany with a certain red head!
4. options
5. friends' weddings
6. patience
7. naps

why i should never own a tv

2008-06-03T20:21:00.000-04:00

Today I spend way too much time watching TV. For various reasons, it was just a day for me to laze on the couch (rain, physical discomfort, etc.), and I stumbled upon a marathon of "The Bachelorette" on VH1. Oh, dear. I think I ended up watching almost the entire season, including the wedding between Trista and Ryan (at least I had never seen any of it before, unlike some other marathons I have been sucked into and already seen...). I never really considered myself a TV person, and in college especially I didn't watch a ton of TV, so I just feel like a complete sloth today. It really does make me consider not having a TV in the future, although I don't know that I could go without my movies now and then!

Yesterday morning I had an interview in Lansing with Waverly Community Schools. I got a call from them today, and I have been asked to go back in on Thursday to teach a lesson to a group of students. I am really blessed to have this opportunity, and it would be lovely to feel secure in a job before I leave for Europe in a little more than a week. Additionally, I found some postings for Admission Counselor positions in WI, AZ, and CO to which I am thinking of applying. And yes, still the PC. ;) So many options....! I think this is a good thing, and it's kind of fun to wait and see what God has in store.

I am excited for my upcoming travels to Europe, although honestly, I haven't devoted too much time to prepare myself for them, because life has been so incredibly busy lately. I am hoping the actual traveling part goes off without a hitch....I have no concerns about being abroad and especially once I am in Germany with CloMo as my tour guide. I am more nervous about the airport/connecting flights/trains situation and making sure I get where I should be. Today during a deep cleaning session in my room, I found some "Learn French Quickly" DVDs I had bought for a course in college on Romance Linguistics. I am excited to see if I can pick up any phrases in the next week or so before I leave! I just typed "I'm excited" a lot in this post, and I apologize for my lack of intriguing vocabulary.

May your days be blessed! :]

showers

2008-06-01T11:39:00.000-04:00

Yesterday was a fun-filled day of sunshine, friends, food, and presents! I attended a wedding shower for my friend Megan; I will be standing up in her wedding at the end of the month. It was awesome to finally meet her fiancee, future in-laws, and the rest of her bridal party. It was a long day (about 9:30 am - 8:30 pm), but definitely worth it. Today I have another wedding shower in honor of Frannie, which will take up the better part of the afternoon. It is a beautiful, sunshine day with blue skies, and I am really excited.

I try to stay away from ooey-gooey-sentimental mush, but yesterday it was really beautiful to see Megan sitting in the center of a group of people who truly love her and did want to shower her not only with gifts but with their love as she prepares to become a wife. We were all able to pray together for Megan's and Jon's marriage as well as for Megan individually as she prepares herself over the next month for their union. It really was beautiful, and I can only hope that if God chooses to bless me with marriage in the future I am able to be surrounded by such great love at that time.

P.S. I found a summer job (to apply for). Fingers crossed! Plus, interview tomorrow in Lansing....we shall see how this one goes. :)

ew

2008-05-30T21:56:00.000-04:00

So I this past week I developed what I believe is the first ear infection of my life...Wednesday it started feeling sore and plugged, and now the other ear is feeling the same, so I am just a trainwreck. I am too stubborn to go to a doctor, so I am letting it ride its course...hopefully I don't end up deaf.

Tonight I went to Holland for a party/reception in honor of my high school English teacher, who was recently named Michigan Teacher of the Year. She is an amazing lady, and was not only my favorite hs teacher, but also my mentor and friend. I am really proud of her, and it was great to catch up. I also saw my middle school teachers, guidance counselor, and principal. I think I aged them a little bit because when they heard I am already a year out of college they tended to walk away with bewildered expressions. :P

My interviews went well this week; I should be hearing back soon. I am almost more anxious about getting offered a job as I was about not having a job in the fall. I know with the job market and economy the way they are, I should be grateful for any source of income, but I don't know that I would necessarily want to live in the locations where I have interviewed. I think what it boils down to is that if I am going to move away from home, I want to move somewhere where I can be happy outside of my job, somewhere I can have a social and spiritual life with friends. Prayers are appreciated as I hear the results. I also have an interview with Waverly Community Schools (Lansing) on Monday, which is a huge blessing. Again, just to be getting phone calls after sending out so many applications is a wonderful thing. I have also been feeling a little nudge that if I don't get a teaching job soon, perhaps God is pushing me to actually fill out the PC application and not just tell people I am "considering" it. Big things can only happen with big risks, right? Ahhhh.

Time to load up on some medicina for the ol' ears.

"In his heart a man plans his course, but the LORD determines his steps."
[Proverbs 16.9]

victory is mine!

2008-05-27T20:14:00.000-04:00

Today was my official last day as a student teacher and long-term sub at EK! While it was actually pretty sad to say goodbye to all my students, freedom feels lovely. It was weird to see my freshmen (yes, mine) walk out the door and to know that I won't get to see and hear what they do over the next 3 years of their lives.

A couple students hung back to give me hugs and wish me luck on my job search. Some seemed genuinely sad that I am leaving, which made me feel really loved. I am not a person who wears my emotions on my sleeve for all to see (unless I'm irritated...), but I really appreciated their hugs and kind words. I also got to spend a few minutes with one of my favorite students of all time and talk to her on a more personal level about a purity ring I had noticed her wearing. It felt good to finally be able to ask her about it and encourage her in her endeavor. As her teacher I never felt that would be quite appropriate, but I figured why not on the last day.

I also distributed paper plate awards to each and every one of my students. Last night at 11:30 pm I was questioning my own logic as I stayed awake to make all 86 of them, but it was worth it. They ranged from awards like "Awesome Effort," and "Helper" award to "Boy Crazy" and "Awkward Comment" awards. I'm sure most of them will end up in the trash, but the idealist in me knows that one could end up in a scrapbook somewhere and mean a lot to someone.

I have two interviews this week (!) and then two wedding showers next weekend, so things are still quite busy. I am also gearing up for my European travels, which is exciting. By the time those are done it will be Megan's wedding and pretty much July! I am considering prepping for and taking the GRE in the next couple months if I don't find summer employment. Lots to ponder. :]

happy memorial day weekend!

2008-05-26T10:50:00.000-04:00

Well, I am always sad to see weekends come to an end, especially as beautiful as this one has been. Today Sarah and I are going to grab a last bite o' TBell before she heads back to Metro-D. It is a beautiful, sunny day outside, and I am going to try to run for a bit. I decided to get on that "Bucket List" idea, and Katie and I are going to do the Coast Guard 5K at the end of July. Woo hoo! I have some running to do. They also have a 10 K, but I think baby steps are in order here.

Last night my parents took Sarah and me to Holland for some outlet shopping (I can't stay away from the Gap even though I try. I just wish they were more socially conscious). We then drove up to GH for some dinner at Portobello's. After walking the pier we called the Galettos and stopped by for some chit chat on the porch. It was just a beautiful night. We got some ice cream at Dairy Treat, and of course, glutton that I am (and bottomless pit), I had to have a couple Pronto Pups. We even stayed long enough to see the "magical" musical fountain. ;)

After the drive home we were wiped and just crashed. It was really just a great afternoon/evening. Today I look forward to making 90 "paper plate awards" for my students, which they will receive tomorrow as part of their last day with me. I know they are going to laugh at how cheesey I am making these awards, but hopefully they appreciate the time and thought I am putting into it. You never know which kids will keep the dixie plates forever, right? :)

Enjoy the day with your loved ones!

happy weekend

2008-05-24T12:09:00.000-04:00

Well, I can basically say I survived student teaching and my long-term sub experience. Maybe using the verb "survived" isn't the best choice, but right now that's honestly how I feel. Because I am a perfectionist, type-A personality (and very green on top of that), a lot of my thoughts are already about what I could have done better, done more of, or how I could have made more of an impact. It's sad that after a year devoted to teaching and learning about education and how to teach, that's how I assess my own progress. So, I am going to highlight a couple accomplishments/areas of growth.

1. I am proud of myself for having the courage to do this internship year. For anyone who reads this and knows me well, they know that my passions are strong, but they change quickly and frequently. On almost a crazy whim at the end of junior year @ MSU, I decided education would be my path, and I hastily jumped onto the bandwagon. While I can't say I haven't had doubts not only about my abilities as an educator but my desire to do it, I have to say I am glad I took the chance and trusted what I heard God whispering in my ear. No matter what the future brings, I know this and any other experiences I have had/will have teaching will leave a huge impact on any job, career, and ministry I pursue.

2. I really feel like I was able to build good relationships with many of my students. God gave me a gift for remembering people's names and little random details about them. In the past, this has sometimes led to me feeling like a creepy stalker when I remember things about people I've only met once, and briefly. With my students, I truly think this gift has made them feel loved and valued. When I can remember which students take dance at which studios and which students play certain instruments, etc., I am able to provide an adult in their lives who cares about the things they love.

3. Working with others: I am a pretty opinionated, control-loving person (such great qualities, eh?). Because of this, I have recognized that sometimes it is difficult for me to work with others. This might not be apparent all the time, but I always struggle to share my opinions at appropriate times with an acceptable level of "gusto," because I don't want to seem domineering. Working with a mentor teacher, a field instructor, plus my colleagues and MSU instructors and classmates this year was a challenge. I felt pulled in many different directions (and sometimes no direction at all, difficult for the gold side of me). I learned a lot about really listening to what others have to say and trying new things. There were many times when I doubted what my mentor suggested would "work for me," but often when I took a risk and tried it, there were huge benefits! I've really experienced the value of teamwork and utilizing each other's strengths.

I was blessed to have breakfast with Miss EVG this morning, and I just love being around her. She is a great friend, always trying to find time to see me live and in person when she is in town, even for a crazy, graduation-holiday weekend. Our talks help me verbalize my thoughts and I love her wisdom. God blessed me with a great friend in her.

The sun is shining, and my friend Sarah is en route from Detroit as I type this for a fun-filled, West-side weekend. I can't wait!

Even though I am still unsure about what the future holds (aren't we all?) I feel a tranquility in my heart right now about the unknown. As I read in Philippians the other night about struggling with one another for the sake of the Gospel (Amen!), I realized that my struggle right now might just be feeling inadequate. Even with these feelings, I have to push forward and do what God calls me to do, even if it's not what I envision for myself. Whether that means teaching for a few years, then doing something else, or trying a new career-area I haven't considered before, I don't know yet. I have been toying with the idea of going abroad as a PC volunteer or serving domestically in Americorps, but I haven't felt that push yet to just jump and do it. Maybe I won't have the luxury of a push, and I need to push myself and trust God will open the right doors. I feel peace in this and just knowing that I can't "mess up" God's plan if I am open-minded and willing to take chances for Him.

This is one of the most random things I have written lately, but again, I am a verbal processor. I think the moral of the story for me is that I completed something big this year by doing this internship, and now that it's done, I am excited to see what is next for me, whatever it is. We live life one day at a time, and each day brings new surprises, blessings, and heartache. No matter what, all of these things aren't thrown upon us malevolently, but we have the love of our Father to help us enjoy and struggle through them.

The Bucket List

2008-05-22T19:35:00.000-04:00

While I did not see the movie "The Bucket List," I remember seeing previews of it, and understand that it entails two men who make a list of things to do before they kick the bucket...a friend of mine was telling me about his MSU "bucket list" of things to do @ MSU before graduation. The summer before my senior year @ MSU, my roommate Rachel and I also made a similar list. We managed to hit some of the things on our list, while some remain undone.

Anyway, it had me thinking about my bucket list for life, and what would be on it. A lot of them are more like lifelong goals than random things to do before I die, but I think I'm going to start a list anyway. Feel free to leave suggestions if anything seems relevant to you, or you have a particular area of expertise.

1. Go back to school.

2. Travel to (but not limited to): South Africa, Greece, Japan, South America (Peru, Ecuador, Argentina, Chile), Mexico, Hawaii, Alaska.

3. Run a 5K and a 10K (I thought about typing a marathon, but I can't even get myself to train for local 5Ks...)

4. Do musical theater, or at least try out for a production.

5. Learn a 3rd language (French? Italian? German? Chinese?).

More to come...

.summer is coming.

2008-05-20T17:32:00.000-04:00

Some things I am getting excited about that (God-willing) will occur this summer:

1. Visiting Claudia in Germany! Along with a couple days/nights in Paris spent with the lovely Andrea & Co.

2. Seeing "Wicked" (again). This might be my favorite musical yet, and word on the street is that I will have the chance to see it again this summer.

3. Megan's wedding. My friend since fourth grade; I am excited to share in her special day.

4. Frannie's wedding. College roommate and basically bosom buddy is getting married in August....very stoked. :)

monday, monday

2008-05-19T17:35:00.001-04:00

Yo! So, I heard a few people glance at this blog, and now I have the handy-dandy tool that lets me see from where people are dropping in, which is fun!

Another blessing today...Gabriel Richard HS in Riverview, MI called me for an interview. I feel like I am finally making progress toward employment. Even if no jobs come of these interviews, it is nice to feel noticed in a small way and to gain practice by going through this process.

I am hoping one of the advising positions to which I applied calls so I can get that experience as well.

Only 5 more days of subbing for the school year! I love my students, but let me tell you, I am ready for a break. I have also neglected to plan anything for my trip to Europe, so it will be nice to have time for that, not to mention all the bridal showers that are coming up. Wedding season! woot.

.sunshine.

2008-05-17T23:48:00.000-04:00

Today was awesome...I went to a friend's home in Grand Rapids who has been gone serving in the Peace Corps for about 6 months now. It was a beautiful, sunny day, and we played volleyball, bocce ball, ate lots of yummy food, and even did some square dancing. I am so grateful to have connected with him and with some other friends from college who were able to visit. It really makes me appreciate the simple things in life. It has been too long since I have played games with people or just danced like that.

.blessings.

2008-05-16T19:08:00.000-04:00

Blessings in my life right now:

1. My Family...Even though I had ZERO desire to ever move back home after college, here I am, and I have more than survived a year living with Mom, Dad, and Alex. They are probably the ones who have had to survive me. It has been great spending more time with my family and getting to know them better and really see who they are.

2. Friends...I have been blessed with great friends, old and new. It sometimes feels like I am really disconnected here when I compare to my life the past four years, surrounded by other college students. However, I have several friends from my hometown (3, I think), who are also home this year working/finishing school, and it has been great to reconnect and spend time with them. God also blessed me with some amazing women in the teaching program with whom I could not only commiserate, but really build strong friendships. Amazingly, two of my college roommates are also living only 20 mins. away in GR, so we have been able to hang out this year as well.

3. Job interview!...South Haven called me and they want to do an interview! I know they are interviewing tons of candidates for this one position, but hey, they called me, and I am grateful for that. No matter what the outcome, out of the 15 jobs to which I have applied, I have received 3 calls. It feels good to get noticed, even just a little bit. Prayers welcome!

I feel like usually my posts are written when I am frustrated with life, so I wanted to share some good things going on. I still need a summer job, but I am working on that, as well as employment for beyond the summer. Life unfolds one day at a time, right?

applying for jobs is a full-time job

2008-05-10T23:37:00.000-04:00

I know people are always complaining that there aren't enough hours in a day. Lately, I have to concur. I am truly blessed to have a long-term sub job; I get to continue working with my students, gain teaching experience, and GET PAID. However, by the time I get home (I tend to be the last car in the parking lot...every day), I eat dinner, and I look for jobs online. If I find any new posts, I start to apply, perhaps I watch a little TV, then I shower and head to bed. There is just seemingly no time to actually apply for these jobs. I have missed several deadlines for apps I have begun and never finished. Now that I've exhausted a lot of Michigan and Portland opportunities, I feel lost as to where to look next. I thought I had narrowed my search to WI, NC, VA, and CO, but now I am also researching Americorps and the Peace Corps, both of which would take me significantly further out of this zone. As I would say to my students, "Caramba!" I have also begun to look at some jobs outside of both volunteering and teaching that are in the area of student affairs. I'm hoping something will work out so I can start considering a move to my own place. Living at home this year has been wonderful, but I feel it's about time I head out on my own. Anyway, basically I wanted to share that looking for/applying to/deciding upon jobs is hard work. I realized that while I have been investing a lot of time into jobs for next fall, I have about 2 weeks left of subbing, and then I will be needing a summer job! Oops. Hopefully there is someone willing to hire me for a few months and will graciously accept me even though I'll need about 2 weeks off for my Eurotrip. Prayers welcome. :)

when they make my life story into a movie, i want natalie portman to play me.

2008-05-05T19:48:00.000-04:00

Just now on my iTunes party shuffle, a song came on from the movie "Coyote Ugly." This made me think about the cheesiness factor of the movie and why the heck it was made in the first place. I'm sure it was an attempt to captivate the essence of freedom and "finding oneself" that happens for most twenty-somethings if it hasn't already. Small-town girl moves to big city with no friends and no money...and miraculously finds an amazingly-hot man and bill-paying career to boot. What about small-town girl lives in parents' basements while she looks for a "real job" anywhere that will take her? Oh yeah, and she's single. We can't all find ourselves in Manhattan, I suppose.

One thing I do have in common with most of these movies and/or novels is the element of surprise...usually the protagonists find themselves in those "I never would have thought" situations: "I never would have thought I'd be married!" "I never would have thought my skin disease would miraculously disappear and I'd become a famous actress!" "I never would have thought I'd meet and befriend a random old man and that he would make me his sole heiress and therefore a billionaire!" Okay, good thing I'm not an author or screenwriter. But I have had some pleasant surprises in my life...I never thought I'd go to MSU, and I couldn't be happier I had 4 years of wonderful experiences there. I never would have thought I'd be a high school Spanish teacher, and my time in the classroom has taught me amazing things about myself, my students, and the world in general. I never would have thought I would move back home after college, and this year has blessed me with many opportunities to spend time with my family and get to know them better.

Maybe it wouldn't be so bad to be the protagonist in some silly chick flick. :)

not it

2008-04-29T19:00:00.000-04:00

Wow. So, it just keeps becoming increasingly evident to me why I am not in charge of my own life. I would goof it up. Horribly. This week I got 2 rejection letters, one from the Fulbright-Hays trip to Ecuador to which I had applied, and the other regarding the job in Portland which I was looking forward to calling my own. I also got an offer for a 2nd interview in Portland at a different school...but the ticket to go this week cost about $900.00....thus, I remain in Michigan, jobless. All year I have really been looking forward to moving, spreading my wings, tasting sweet freedom on the open road. Or something like that. Instead, now I find myself acutely aware of how difficult it is going to be to leave my family for a new job, new state, new city, new friends, new church, etc. And while all of that is also immensely exciting, it's just plain daunting at the same time. I am thankful I have an extra month this summer to stick around and let things work themselves out. Er, to let God work them out for me. ;) While rejection never feels good, losing most of my Portland-area options has forced me to look elsewhere for jobs next year. I have applied to several districts close to home, and I think I will start branching out to NC, Colorado, Virginia, and Wisconsin. To be honest, there is still a part of me that questions whether-or-not teaching is right for me. I know God brought me this far, but I just don't know how I feel about teaching as my career. I think if I had a better sense of what my vocation is, I'd feel more confident. Trusted friends are constantly and graciously reminding me that my vocation is not necessarily my career. While I understand that, I would like them to be intertwined. I truly want to spent my life doing things that matter to me and make a difference. While teaching definitely fits here, I don't know if I am the hands and feet best suited for the position, or better yet, if the position best utilizes my hands and feet. Something about which I need to pray, I suppose. Anyway, I am trying not to let worry consume me as much. Prayer in that regard would be appreciated. Gracias!

i want to break free

2008-04-24T18:20:00.000-04:00

All I can say is, one more paper ever (until I go back to school....) and I am home free. It has been an interesting year, and I am grateful for all the built-in support at MSU, but it will be amazing to have more time to focus on my planning, teaching, and job search.

2 interviews down...hopefully some more to go! One seems like an AMAZING position, one seems like it'd be a nice place to start, but perhaps not the BEST match for me. We shall see. :)

<3

kids say the darndest things...

2008-04-17T22:14:00.000-04:00

During the "good news" portion of our class:

Me: Guys! I have good news; I might have a job interview coming up!
Student in the back: Where?
Girl in front: Hooters!
Me: ...[slowly raises arms in front of chest] Um, yes, there are a lot of places we could go with that comment...but we're not going to.
Class:

oh my.

sunshine day!

2008-04-16T22:53:00.000-04:00

Today was amazing...honestly, sunshine is like a drug. Today I was just blitzed on Vitamin D, that's for sure. School was nice, and then I got to see some of my favorite people in GR. We sat on the porch (in the sun), ate wonderful Mexican food, and walked for awhile in pursuit of ICE CREAM. Me gusta. In other news, this weekend I am going to a job fair, and as I consider my options, I realize I haven't truly been open to all of the options God has for me.....yes, I have tried to be open-minded, but still, this whole year, I have always had one or two main prospects in my head. I have been getting e-mails and nudges here and there to stay in Michigan or to explore other states previously beyond my scope...NC, SC, Virginia....and I really haven't been open to these options. I don't know if that is okay or if I need to make myself more available to other things God might have in store. Can I just pick Portland or Denver now and stick with it? Do I have to consider all of these other crazy options that are driving me INSANE? I live a life full of indecision, and the idea of considering more choices is just overwhelming. I also realize that if I don't relax and let God's plan flow, things could get ugly. And, I'm really not going insane, I'm just impatient and I want to know where I will be in a few months.

It saddens me a little that right now I am letting this one decision rule my thoughts, when really, it's not much of a decision for me. I can decide whom I will talk to and where I will apply, but the way things will unfold is already manifesting itself in ways I won't ever know. That is such a huge comfort. I look around at people in my life who are getting married and think, wow, that is beautiful, but I'm grateful it's not me. I see people pushing through the challenge of medical school, somewhere I used to think I would be, and again, I am thankful that is not my place right now. God definitely knew what He was doing in all of these steps in my life and in the lives of others. We all have our own little niche. At each moment, we are exactly where He intends for us to be. Held delicately in His hands, watched over closely with the most powerful love there is.

As I experience anxiety about my life, I love this imagine of resting securely in the Hands of my Jesus, and knowing that He is in control of this and all aspects of my little story.

deep breaths

2008-04-15T23:01:00.001-04:00

So I basically had a freak out. I'm feeling better. One day at a time. Breathe in. Breathe out. I still feel quite anxiety-ridden, but it will all be okay. I have a phone interview lined up next week and a job fair this week. I'm hoping God starts showing me a little more about what He has in store in that area of my life. I feel like I"m in a huge waiting game...waiting to know where I'll work, if I'll be moving, if I'll go to South America, if I'll have enough money to pay for all of this, etc.

Subbing is going well...while it's too bad that my mentor has to be out, it's amazing to have this chance to teach by myself and the way I want to. I have control issues. I think most teachers do.

I said this wouldn't be a diary, so I will stop. All I know is that I am definitely learning about patience and trust right now. I feel like I had something profound to say, but I forgot. But hey, I remembered to invite people to read my blog!

Phil. 4:6